Life in the kikay world

Setting my mind on it

2011-01-31T22:33:00.000+08:00

Don't you just hate how you make a decision, set your mind on it, then a day later something happens or someone does something that makes you doubt your decision... not really because you think the decision is wrong, but whether or not you'll see it through... most days I seem to change my mind... and I hate it how i can't seem to stick with it... how I wish I could just be firm and see it through the end no matter how painful or difficult. I'd like to think I make decisions when I'm logical but emotions just get in the way of achieving it... i just hate how I'd go back and forth until I'm left with no choice and be forced to deal with it when it's the most painful... so today i'm hoping I'll stick with my resolution

perfectly clear

2010-09-27T01:30:00.000+08:00

He's just not that into you... perfectly clear...you're the rule, not the exception...

IMY

2010-09-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I still miss your presence... you know how sometimes you just need someone to be there for the small things, those things that you actually forget in a day or two, the things you probably dont tell others because it's not that significant anyway, I miss you for that, for being there for the big and small things. The one where you feel like you just turn to your side and find comfort that they're there anytime... I still miss that...

"It's not hard to die when you know you have lived your life"

2010-09-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

"It's not hard to die when you know you have lived your life"- desperate housewives

Something that really made me think... well in my view I feel like I haven't been living it up like I should... I dont mean partying and living on the edge, maybe just learning more...I think I should just be more pro-active... like set a certain number of activities per year... I just feel like if I died in the next few years, I would say, sayang I didnt get to do this and that because I was too focused on the future. Like I want to learn to be able to live on my own, drive anywhere, take a culinary course, a fashion course... I don't think I'm making progress. I dont want to die not accomplishing things that I set out to do... I should take steps to accomplish these...

Do I even matter?

2010-09-07T04:37:00.000+08:00

You know what hurts the most, you make me wonder if in your world I even exist. Do I even matter? Because it seems as though everyone else matters except me, It always feels like I'm the negligible one... No matter how hard I try, I never seem to be good enough to catch your fancy... Am I really that horrible? It feels as though I'm pretty visible to everyone except you... Funny how ironic that seems. You feel like an addiction so hard to give up because it's just so easy to love you without you even trying...

I wish I never

2010-09-06T05:42:00.000+08:00

I wish I can just take things back so I never had to meet you. You just seem so full of contradictions that I find it hard to read you. Sometimes I wish you would just stop being so nice, always being there, being so confusing in short... just so there would be no reason... Those things don't mean anything anyway... I wish I could take it all back...

It's good to be back...

2010-09-06T01:54:00.000+08:00

Call me crazy and emotional for posting so many entries in a day, but this blog is really really liberating for me. You know how congested facebook is today, posting an entry there feels like posting your thoughts in tabloids, where each theory is bound to take a life of its own. I just don't feel that it's necessarily the right place to post your blogs with your inner most thoughts, it somehow loses the sanctity of the entry. I think it's a good place to reconnect and share light conversations, to supplement connections, to share fun things, but it's not the place to strengthen foundational relationships, those that reveal the most vulnerable part of our being... Well it's good to be back here.

Lesson learned?

2010-09-06T01:38:00.000+08:00

Looking back at the lessons learned I now wonder, have I really learned anything? It seems as though history is repeating itself, the time in between led me to believe I have, that had it have to happen again I would know what to do, but it seems otherwise. Once again you hope, but still left with that big doubt at the back of my head, well aware how this will end. So why don't we just cut to the chase and give up? You know how we sometimes nurture that little speck of hope? we grow it until it spins into this big fictional idea all together defeating that big mass of doubt. Then again it is not built on reason, so as soon as reality sets in this towering pile of fictional tale comes crashing down... With that conclusion, maybe it is better to nip things in the bud and just kill out hope all together...

Murphy's law in action

2010-09-05T20:17:00.000+08:00

ugh.... this is a really really really bad weekend!!!!!! murphy's law really applies... I don't even know where to start and end about how things are getting worse lately... everything just seems to be going wrong... I'm starting to wonder if it's just the way i see things or if like negative energy attracts more negative energy... I swear this all seems so familiar... just like 3 years ago...how do you stop murphy's law anyway? I swear i just want it to stop... please...

I'm alive again!

2010-08-06T02:10:00.000+08:00

I haven't posted here in like forever!! It's amusing to read my old entries! I should start writing here more often! I promise to revive this site! I should probably add in more pictures too! I realized pictures make an entry a lot more enticing...

I feel like I'm on dope today! Extra jovial and upbeat! My day was basically composed of coffee runs,lunch break, tsismis, shopping... I got my nude pumps today! I'm still lusting for the one at forever 21 though... boo that it already ran out and the only ones remaining were on the mannequin (and they refused to take it off the mannequin! boooooo! I know lifting that disassembling that almost-perfect-waif-like-figure is difficult but for P1600 that's not bad at all).... I'm just crazy over that nude/ gray/ beige/ apricot/ ivory color right now. I seem to be buying tops, skirts, shoes, nail polish in that color, I can see a gray bag in the near future though. It's my next "To hunt for" item.

I've been trying to revive my social life lately as well... My goal is to make the most out of Saturdays (my favorite day)! though I also count sleeping as productive, I should prolly start aiming for something more productive, like a class.

Quarter life crisis the nth series

2009-09-05T23:04:00.000+08:00

I was leaving some comments on ray's fb site a while ago about career stuff... I also got to talk to elea for a while... Well one thing's for sure I know that i'm definitely confused, still stuck at the quarter life crisis mode, trying to figure out what I really want to do... It's not that I don't have an idea of what I want to do, its just that I have so many ideas (yes, a big day dreamer here) ... You know at some point you kind of feel that, why can't I try this out, I'll only live once (i'm kind of the try-everything-out kind of person...) Why have just one, when you can have all of them right?! ... but well apparently it's not how the world goes... you have to choose which path you want to take... I'm kind of envious of people who happen to stumble into the thing that they would want-to-be-doing-for-the-rest-of their-lives at their first job... It makes me wonder, let's say 20 years from now, would I still have what ifs, like what if I tried this one out and became yada yada yada... that's the worst feeling in the world right?! haha I sound like a little kid day dreaming right?! sometimes I feel like a 6 year old kid stuck at disneyland, day dreaming... (okay going off track now... get back to the main point)

Well I guess I've been reminded that instead of relying on my own, I think I have to go back and get more guidance in life because obviously I'm confused... and obviously confused is just not working out for me... and I just feel a bit disappointed with myself, that it feels like I've spent a year of my life just lulling away without really knowing where I would go... I mean I'm young, I could've used the year to do something more productive... I'd like to think I'm an all or nothing person (just not great with the in betweens)... and now feels closer to the nothing... I just think I'm ready for something more, something new... I want a big change...

I think I'm done weeding people out of my life already, I've already got the balance, time to get back on the train... the only question is, which train? but I'll figure that one out... hopefully I'll get my answer soon...

Wake me up when it's over...

2009-08-12T13:34:00.000+08:00

I feel like my spirit has given up... tipong i don't really care... its like people tell me good news and i just give a fake answer just to pretend that i can feel their excitement too... or just say "ah talaga?" even when I don't feel like saying anything at all... well I think it's obvious rin naman, it's not like I'm a good liar you know... well on the other hand, it's not like i can just look at them and shrug and say "ah talaga? I don't really care" I actually don't feel like talking to people these days... ym and emails are enough... somehow talking and pretending to be happy as always seems too much effort these days... para akong on drugs kasi i feel like i've lost the capacity to be happy or angry... I just feel NOTHING... You might as well leave me sleeping in bed the entire day or staring in outerspace... so shouldn't this be bliss that I feel nothing? Well it would be if I'm really that type of person who just doesnt care... Something just ate me up to the point that I've just given up... I just want to hibernate and wake up when the feeling is over... hey it doesnt make sense waking up if I'm just gonna sit and stare and pretend right?

Just 1....

2009-08-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

It's kinda weird, I feel like I'm not really doing a lot in life but somehow like my head feels messy in a way that I want to remove myself from where I am right now to be able to see things clearly.... Weird... I think I kind of really want to do more things right now I mean with life in general... I mean it doesn't help that I'm stuck at home most of the time... I know it's of my own doing anyway... I'm more like a hermit these days, apart from work i don't really go out and do stuff... I really just want to do a lot of things really that I have been putting off for quite some time but somehow I just have a hard time committing like a schedule for those stuff... ok it's my own fault... okay I promise myself I have to do at least 1 before the year ends... just 1 abby... you can commit to 1... culinary or pastry or bag making or continue french or running... 1 before the year ends...

I witnessed a miracle!

2009-04-03T19:33:00.000+08:00

I just really needed to share this, kasi pagpasok ko ng kwarto I saw how organized all my accessories were.... as in I even called my sister into our room to show her "the miracle" normally it would be overflowing out of its containers already! haha My aunt kasi who has cancer didn't want to stay at home so she came over and brought yung parang nurse niya to fix stuff in our house nalang... I super love her nurse kasi OCness! even all my bangles were arranged! look:

Oo na ang babaw ng kaligayahan ko! haha pero basta natuwa lang talaga ako... and she also made some ginataan which I also love!!!! last week naman she made leche flan! (which stacy happened to really love, as in Uncle Dong was trying to stop her from eating a lot, tapos sinumbong niya tuloy sa mommy niya na her daddy doesn't want to let her eat daw... hahaha funny kid!)

Nakakatuwa kasi bigla akong nadisconnect from the wifi at home, tapos i asked my brother, o nadisconnect ba kayo?? sabi niya hindi naman so I checked my connection, and guess what?! nakaconnect pala kasi ako sa ibang wifi! hindi pala yun yung amin kaya pala nawala! hahahaha

Anyway as I was looking through yung pictures ko, kasi ipopost ko nga 'to nakita ko yung pictures ko a year ago na nagsusukat ng damit at nainspire ako kasi ang payat ko pa dun! ipopost ko na yun sa harap ng pc ko parati! haha para hindi na ako kakain parati!

Love SM!!!!!!

2009-03-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

I totally enjoyed my SM visit today!!!!! Aside from having lots of chikka from the managers I had new discoveries as well!

Imagine getting to buy 3 dresses for less than 2000 bucks?! All summer dresses!!! just what I was looking for! I mean who knew you can buy dresses for less than 600 bucks each??! that's just insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the best part about it is I only had to pay less than 300 bucks, kasi we still had lots of SM GCs at home given to us by someone... Even sarah was able to buy top for less than 600 bucks! absolutely love summer!!!!!
Vegetarian chicharon, my latest guilty pleasure for the week... It's made of dried green peas... I know i know for those who absolutely love the real chicharon this is a crime! but I'm not really a big fan of the real chicharon so this will do it for me! I don't think it's out in all groceries yet, but since it's made by oishi it should be out in all groceries soon!
I love the spice rack in SM Makati, it even has galangal (now we can try making more thai dishes!), fleur de sel, tumeric... i just find it so cool!!

Buti nalang maaga ako nakauwi today kasi super inaantok na ako kasi kagabi medyo nagulohan ang brin ko trying to recall the treatment ng stocks para iexplain sa kapatid ko hahaha buti nalang hindi bonds tinanong niya sa akin diba! haha

Happy Birthday Kath Sionzon!!!!!!!

2009-03-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

Babe! Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!!!! Make a wish!

We super miss you already!!! Yuck tingnan mo yan na yung latest picture nating tatlo! Which was like almost 2 years ago na (although I don't think we've changed much)! You really have to come home soon! talk to you soon! loveyoubabe! *super tight hug*

Abby and Elea

I'm not sure when I'll be able to catch you so I just posted my greeting here...

Summer time!

2009-03-22T13:11:00.000+08:00

I should already be working on my presentation now, but I'm just too distracted... Actually I'm just too restless and just can't sit still... I want to go out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's summer already and I don't have any plans yet! the only definite plan I have now is Baguio on holy week and hopefully 1 out of town trip with the MTs... otherwise super kulang sa action yung summer ko! I don't even have any plans to go to the beach!!!!!! Oh I so miss the student life!!!! any of my friends, hello? any summer plans????! Let's learn how to surf!!!!!!!!!!! I'm really planning to book all my weekends!!! this is my favorite season! I have to fully utilize it! haha parang nakasummer attire na nga ako everyday sa work eh! hahaha and of course it's time to shop for my summer wardrobe na ulit!!!!!!!!! woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last days...

2009-03-15T12:27:00.000+08:00

As I see this batch of graduating terminals documenting their last few days of college life in their multiply and facebook accounts, I couldn't help but reminisce through my own... they were one of the best days of my college life, where you didn't really have anything to do anymore acads wise and you just savor the company of all your friends, where we would just sit at the couch at the tambayan and try to reminisce all our memories, haha parating full house ang couch during those times kasi wala na kaming ginagawa kung hindi tumambay at magtsismisan and think about how we wouldn't have all those things in just a few months time, at that point we were just waiting for our grades to come out, the anticipation of graduating with a laude or not, the uncertainty of what the future holds(ehem ehem employment... haha) well not that i was bothered by that! haha it wasn't really something that burdened me at that time, all i knew is that I never really wanted that moment to end, I would have gladly stayed a year or two more in college!

Well I don't think any of us really wanted it to end... but then again it's something we knew was inevitable, besides it wasn't such a bad ending... We all worked/ played hard all through college for that moment, to finally go up that stage triumphantly... bittersweet though because we had to part ways. At that time we found it so hard to imagine that we wouldn't be together everyday, truth be told I don't miss the parties, what I miss the most is cramming together, having lunch at the caf and occupying the long table, hogging the couch at the tambayan, couch stuffing and trying to get a scoop of the latest chismis, running through different org meetings during lunch, greeting the ate and kuyas of co-op, caf and ate guard... (thinking about all these is giving me the chills)... two years after graduation, I still think it's one of the best times of my life!

I super miss you guys!!! **hug**

Is time really gold?

2009-03-11T06:28:00.000+08:00

I never really valued time until the point where I lost control over it... I have to admit I'm not really ms. punctual... I take my sweet time to do things... I don't really like rushing things, I like being able to do things on my own time, how fast or slow I want it to go... and I loved college because of that! I am able to get everything done on my own terms and I have the freedom to mix it around in whichever way I want... I guess I never really lost control over it until I started working, when somebody else really owns your time... and here I am working for over a year now and I still can't get my head around that idea... dwelling on it sometimes just makes me want to run to the nearest exit...

Right now I'm sitting at my desk... thinking about the two exit points... Do I stay or do I make a run for it?

Can someone ever take your place?

2009-03-09T20:25:00.000+08:00

Do you think someone can ever take the place of someone else in your life?... you know someone who can fill the gaps that were left behind by someone else... Would it be just the same? Well...who am I kidding?! I suppose not, each person is unique after all, there to fulfill a unique purpose in your life... to provide a certain kind of comfort and security...

Congrats to UP JPIA's new set of EOs

2009-03-05T17:44:00.000+08:00

Na-compel talaga akong magsulat ng blog nung nalaman ko ito dahil stage mother ako... haha

Congrats Diana F!!!! UP JPIA President!!!!

hindi ko man lang alam na tumakbo pala siyang president pero nagkagut- feel lang ako nung nakita ko yung ym status niya... at ang bata pala ay presidente na (sayang hindi ako nakapagkampanya! haha stage mother talaga!)... at hindi ko parin nasasakatuparan ang kanyang pig out kaya cinalendar ko na nga ang pig out niya kasi baka grumaduate na siya ng hindi ko parin siya nappig out... kawawa naman... pero I'm super duper proud talaga and excited for you buddy!!!!!!!! Congrats!!!! In fact congrats to the new EOs, EOs 51!

25 random things

2009-03-01T11:30:00.000+08:00

Since I'm not yet in the mood to make my presentation I just had to do something to entertain myself...

1. I dream of making the best pocket pies... I happen to love pies

2. I'm deathly afraid of animals... all kinds, no matter how cute they are... I'm especially afraid of cats, I once suffered a sprain trying to evade a cat... thanks to my friends who brought me to the infirmary crying...

3. For some reason a lot of people tell me I look sobrang like my dad's cousins... it's the eyes

4. I love reading non-fiction books... especially thos about women... somehow fiction just doesn't entice me as much..

5. I watch around 3 movies a year max! (well except when...) but on my own free will that's the maximum... because I dislike how loud the sound effects are, and how it eats up my shopping time, and how it's uncomfortably cold inside some movie houses.

6. I've sworn off any other cellphone brands other than nokia... they're just soo easy to use...

7. I always think I'm on a diet but I never actually ever do it... try living with my family... you'll understand why I can never go on a diet...

8. I've always been kikay... my aunts used to call me Donya Kikay when I was a toddler. Up until I was 12 I would always wear dresses, I didn't like jeans...

9. I've always loved to cook... I had a small kitchen playset when I was young and I would usually help my mom cook, it only stopped when I was napaso ng onti because of the oil... But I'd love to have my own kitchen someday where I can entertain all my friends...

10. I don't like sunday nights because I know soon enough it will be monday morning... (well except when i was in college... everyday felt like a weekend then...). My favorite is friday night

11. In a way I learned to love my country through my experience with UP. I've always told myself that I owe my school and one day I have to find a way of giving back...

12. I've never dreamed of driving to work... it's just too risky for me... haha... well apparently my dad agrees with me because he's okay with my siblings driving to school by themselves pero ako bawal!

13. I find makati too stuffy... there are just too many buildings and infrastructures... I miss the sunken garden

14. I love getting a nice tan, without sunscreen... it's skin cancer but the tan without sunscreen is just perfectly golden... I just love being out there in the sun... rainy days makes me feel gloomy...

15. I love walking, it's my favorite exercise.... it's a great stress reliever... I can walk for hours just by myself... all other forms of exercise I have to drag myself into.. yes including my weekly boxing/ muay thai sessions

16. I'm the type of person who's on either end of the stick, I can be extremly quiet or extremely madaldal, extremely nice and malambing or extremely snabera (depends if I like the person), extremely love or hate something... I don't do well in the middle...

17. I don't feel comfortable getting body massages, hangang hands and feet lang, I don't like people I don't know touching me... I get uneasy...

18. My favorite body part is my fingers... that's the best asset I can come up with

19. My favorite travel companions would still be my family... free food, great accomodation, a shopping buddy who wouldn't complain even if i take 10 years in the dressing room, what's not to love?

20. I value freedom a lot!! I don't like structures, routines and cycles it just makes me feel imprisoned... that's the same reason why I don't like joining tours, everything is already scheduled you don't have time to deviate from it.... that's also the thing that sometimes makes corporate life boring... (for some reason I can't find my "it" bag that doesnt have structure written all over it... that's just how far my rebellious side goes)

21. The #1 reason why I love parties is that I get to dress up and wear nice clothes... #2 is that I get to socialize other than that I'm pretty boring... I don't drink, I don't dance...

22. I love working backstage during events... somehow running around with a bit of panic gives me a rush... I enjoy an event more when I'm working on it...

23. I love going out of town... it's my ultimate escape whenever I feel too stressed or whenever i feel like my life is too rountinary... favorite escape bora! I just love feeling the cold fine sand through my toes... (i'm picky when it comes to beaches, I'm particular with the sand)

24. As a kid my aunt was my dentist and it would take half a day for her to pull out my teeth because even before we start I would start crying so loud, they would hear me outside, she would have to have someone holding my hands to hold me down... Then I would try to bite her pa... and at the end of it all I would still get a polly pocket from her as a prize!

25. My favorite street food is corn with cheese (the one in FC sa UP... it has to be at this stall)... second favorite is taho... During college, i used to walk to FC whenever I'm craving for corn... Mababaw ang kaligayahan...

The Grinch of Valentines

2009-02-14T09:36:00.000+08:00

Feeling ko kung may Grinch for the valentines, ako yun! Kasi aside from not believing in the concept of valentines (that's another story... I'd like to believe it's the romantic in me that is turned off by valentines), I hate how it gets super traffic kasi everyone joins the bandwagon and to add to that, it's a payday weekend pa ngayon!!!! Imagine I was supposed to have dinner with friends yesterday, I left the office mga 7/7:15 tapos I arrived home mga almost 9 na! eh typically it just takes me an hour to get home eh! So hindi na ako nakasama sa dinner kaya sumunod nalang ako for coffee which was soooooo bitin... and today we had brunch sa Apartment 1B and usually going to makati on weekends is a breeze, now it took much longer than usual.. as in frustrating!!!!!!! I really hate it kasi it super gets in the way of my plans when all the while I find the frenzy pointless!

Si marvie nga nung thursday was asking kung naka-red daw ba ako dahil may valentines date ako.. ako naman in my usual taray way said I don't believe in the concept of valentines blah blah blah... corny/ over commercialized crap whatever... tapos all of a sudden sir Ardie emerges out of his room, akala namin may uutos siya pero apparently he just felt compelled to say something... sabi ba naman sa akin... grabe naman yung demands mo, buti if the guy you're dating is dating a lot of other girls... hahahaha as in tawang tawa talaga ako... parang naman napaka-grinch ko talaga noh?!

I miss being spontaneous... =(

2009-02-08T09:41:00.000+08:00

Okay I know I'm not that spontaneous naman talaga to begin with but being responsible for such a long time can become quite tiring too.. I feel like I'm such a dull person because I even work on weekends and everything that happens to me is like 95% work related... I mean it's not that I hate my work, I wouldn't be working most of the time if I didn't love what I was doing but I just miss being pasaway sometimes... I sooo miss UP chillax days... tambay days... I just miss the feeling of not knowing what will happen next... I just don't know where to start though... parang I'm kinda not ready naman to commit my saturdays to just 1 thing like French (it's super layo, it's in makati and I want something more playful and getting stuck in a classroom is not my idea of playful) or piano (hmm i'm not sure kung at what pt ako ulit tatamarin)... again signing up for something that you will do for quite some time kinda goes against the spontaneous thing...

Well I can go for zips lessons with my sister on sundays or go for a walking tour somewhere or try to persuade the rest of my family to take out of town trips more often... I want to do things that are more creative and less cerebral... maybe I should just make a list of the things I want to do for this year:

take a pottery class
paint ceramic stuff at Landes
take zips lessons
go to subic (I haven't been there in like years)
take more out of town trips
enroll in culinary class (though again I'm afraid to give up most of my saturdays for just one thing, though I really really enjoy cooking)
go to more org activities (I know i've been MIA the past few months... I'm just more preoccupied with work more than usual but I still long for tambay and the spontaneity)
try bikram yoga
try to get the gang to play tennis again
go jogging in UP
go watch musicals more often ( I need to look for someone to go with me though)
start on my scrapbooking (I have all the materials but I haven't started out on anything)
Clear out my closet (I probably don't use 50% of the things that are in my closet)
head to the beach (I seriously need more sunshine... one of my energy boosters)
take surfing lessons (I seriously want to do this!!!!!!)

Okay point is I should have something to do on weekends so that I have a reason not to work on weekends! The mall just doesn't seem as enticing these days, I don't know if it's because I also associate the mall (SM)to work... basta it doesn't seem as alluring... I guess I just miss the balance I used to have with all the aspects of my life having equal importance... that's why I miss the good old days where it's spontaneous enough without really throwing me off balance most of the time... (thinking about these stuff makes me tamad to start working but I have deadlines! I have to make tons of reports... crap... it doesn't help that I'm a crammer and I'm not really in the zone right now to work)

So friends if there's anything in the list that interests you, let me know!! I'll be up for it!

Day 6... We survived!!!!!!!

2009-02-07T19:27:00.000+08:00

We survived the 6 days!!!! needless to say we were both excited to get home na! Alam na namin kung saan ang mga wifi spots sa SM malls all over the Philippines! In fairness ayoko ng makakita pa ng coffee shop for the next few weeks! Detox na ako next week at gulay na kasi puro cake and sandwiches and all the bad stuff talaga kinain ko the whole week...

Akala mo itong 4 (http://abbykikay.multiply.com/journal/item/543/Day_4..._so_far_were_still_alive) lang ang experiences namin... of course not! hahaha aside from the first 4:

nadelay ang flight namin going home from davao-manila ng 1 hour so mga 12 am na ata kami nakarating ng manila
Having Gelato for breakfast! yes my diet is already so mixed up I was taking gelato for breakfast in the airport! Aside from that I was super eating lots of cakes, sweets... the deadly stuff... sabi nga ni joy... the way I was going I'd have diabetes na raw by the time I'm 30 so I'm working on cutting back on sweets...
Nung pagdating namin sa CDO airport I was on my way out na talaga ng airport without getting my luggage! Buti nalang joy stopped me and reminded me na we haven't retrieved our luggages yet! Yes, I was that scatter brained na by friday...
Every time we had to go to the employees entrance and we had to climb several flights of stairs to get to the training room we were both convinced that they were punishing us for all the stuff we ate! sabi nga namin we should have a picture na trudging up the stairs with all the things we were carrying eh... hahaha... or with our luggages!!!! hahaha
sa super daming times namin naririning yung safety procedures nila sa plane sabi namin we can already do the demo..."to tighten your seatbelt pull the belt, to unfasten lift the buckle... in case of a water landing, life vests are located under your seats, remove any sharp objects from your body and put on the vest... pull tape to tighten... push pins to release air, the light will automatically turn on once the battery is immersed in water... in case the cabin pressure drops... oxygen masks will drop from..."

This is me opening my luggage in the middle of SM! All for PhilWeb!

Ito ang ultimate highlight ng trip namin for me: The Chocolate Cake from Pietro Cafe in Bacolod. It was super chocolatey! As in bleeding chocolate!!!! When we just got in the cafe medyo pissed off na ako kasi may dumating na report for me from the office... pero when I got my first bite palang all the chocolate already made its way to me and couldn't help but smile... Yeah it had that much chocolate in it, It was really a sight with all the chocolate coming out of it... as in bleeding chocolate talaga!

10 trainings down, 2 more to go!!!!!!

Day 4... so far wer're still alive!

2009-02-05T13:13:00.000+08:00

Grabe I'm super excited for this week to be over soon!!!!! Parang napagod lang ako with the travel and having to carry sooooooo much heavy stuff... yuck parang tiningnan ko lang talaga lahat ng itsura ng SM sa buong Pilipinas, hindi ko man lang iniikot yung mga places na pinupuntahan ko... I think it's already starting to get to me because I feel kind of mataray na and for some reason I get ticked off by little things na... and emotional and upset... I guess I'm just tired... it's either that or my sales reports have been getting to me...

In fairness to Joy and I, 4 days na buhay pa naman kami...

We both survived having to ride the small plane ng cebu pacific na instead of facing paharap yung seats namin, facing the other direction siya so kaharap talaga namin lahat ng tao diba tapos due to the force of gravity during take off (natutulog na kasi ako bago magtake off), nagising ako at bigla nalang ako napahawak kay joy!
at kahapon habang asa airport kami ng bacolod bigla nalang nawalan ng kuryente napahawak nalang kami bigla sa isa't isa...
at aakalain mo bang maeexperience mong magbukas at mag-ayos ng luggage sa gitna ng SM!!!
at ilang beses na muntik madisgracia ang laptop ko... (this is a sign... dapat palitan na ni papa ang laptop ko ng mini note! hahaha)... once nung asa airport kami ng cebu eh aantok antok pa ako, so muntik na siya nahulog from the check in counter to the floor, buti nalang nagkick in ang reflexes ko JIT (nagising talaga ako dun diba!). at ito naman ultimate katangahan as in nung asa iloilo pier i placed my laptop sa tabing seat beside me... at hindi ko siya naalalang dalhin until nalang nung nakasakay na kami tapos inannounce sa pa system na may passenger na nakaiwan ng laptop sa terminal as in dun ko lang biglang naisip, that's me! naiwan ko laptop ko!!!!!!! as in tumakbo talaga ako palabas! buti nalang mabait sila at walang nagnakaw ng laptop ko!! as in if ever naiwan ko yun iiyak talaga ako all the way home!

Anxiety attacks

2009-02-01T15:05:00.000+08:00

I can't explain this feeling I have but somehow I feel so anxious to go to work tom... I don't know if its because of some happenings over the weekend or i just feel like i still have a lot of work that I needed to do (I sometimes just feel tired having to work on weekends too just to finish the load) or naanxious lang akong kasama ang boss ko for the next week... parang I can't go out and be guilt free because I still have to finish some stuff... I guess that's partly the reason why I work when I get home and during weekends kasi if I go out without finishing the things I need to do I feel sooo guilty... this is sooooooooo like hs! you know the feeling you get when you go out tapos hindi pa tapos yung homework mo and you're super anxious kung matatapos mo ba yung hw mo in time for tom... i know I'm such a geek... I just hate the feeling! I hope I finish this in time!

AMCHAM BOP 2009!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-29T16:08:00.000+08:00

anyway naisipan ko lang to blog today kasi naexcite ako to do interviews for the AMCHAM Business Orientation Program (BOP) of 2009!!!!!!!! I'm super excited to meet candidates!!! natutuwa ako kasi onti onti ko ng nafufulfill ang thrust ko for 2009 na life outside work! haha finally magkakaroon na ako ng extra curricular activity!!!!

I'm also super excited to go to UJF on Sat to see SFAS and JPIANs!!!!!!!!!! It's been such a long time na!!! yuck para akong batang kinulong sa hawla ng napakatagal! haha

I'm already soooo sleepy but I'm trying to catch up with work pa... ang saya actually to do the trainings kahit iba ibang look lang ng SM ang nakikita ko sa katunayan... haha nung kakwento ko nga kahapon yung mall manager ng SM Baguio feeling niya ang sarap sarap ng work ko... well yeah masaya siya actually kasi I get to go out and meet lots of people and I get feedback from them I guess the trip lang is the tiring part... but for the most part I'm thankful naman for it... and I have to admit naeenjoy ko siya because of the variety...

=)

2009-01-26T05:36:00.000+08:00

Nothing happened naman overall I had a great weekend lang... feeling ko this is the weekend na sulit na sulit ko talaga each day... as in from Friday to Sunday! and I super loved it! parang super tagal na since nasulit ko yung whole weekend ko na I have something scheduled each day.... Friday (memorial, it was a touching memorial service, really celebrated someone's life and it was really an opportunity for the whole family to work together), Saturday (celebrated cath's bday with hs friends and had stayed overnight at sofitel for some bonding session... i have no pictures of course), Sunday (shopping + chinese new year celebration which means lots of dessert... so what's not to like??)... some odd adventures during the weekend that added spice to the mix... nothing spectacular naman pero natuwa lang ako kasi i miss having those kind of surprises in my life... sana more of that in the year ahead... haha I'm really trying to stick to my thrust for 2009 to have life outside work... work-life balance!!!!! This just reminded me how much I missed my college lifestyle so I'm trying to bring back the things that I love into my life, kahit weekends lang...

but can I just say... naiinis ako kasi i can't find my freakin retainers!!!!!! I prolly wrapped it in tissue then threw it out! arghhhhhhhh!!!!! at sabi ni rachelle yung baba lang is already P5k!!! uuuuuuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! the worse part is when i go to the dentist pagagalitan niya ako for not wearing my retainers, tapos pagagalitan rin ako ng parents ko for not wearing retainers... so argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know it's really all my fault... huhuhu I don't think it's showing up anytime soon... so I have to make an appointment to have a new one made... =(

Is this a sign??!

2009-01-17T08:07:00.000+08:00

It's sooo weird... kasi I'm online to check my mail and try to work and stuff tapos tamang tama abby g and dustin are online rin to work (note: it's a saturday)... but sadly we can't access our webmail... my connection seems to be working fine naman... so it's prolly a sign for us to stop being workaholics and enjoy the weekend! haha okay fine, that's just how i want to interpret it... not that i can go anywhere kasi i don't have a car today!!!!!!!! so the only place I can go to is the gym... sadness... why?! why?! why?! why today?! papano na ang thrust ko for 2009 to have life outside work?! hahaha forces of nature are trying to connive against me! hahahahha

I just need to rant about this!

2009-01-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

Can i just say i just need to rant lang! naiinis kasi ako!!!! yung proposal na ginagawa ko half done palang ako ,tapos nacorrupt siya! eh the other day ko pa sinulat yun so hindi ko na maalala what's in there... sayang kasi I would assume that was the time my brain was working well pa unlike now... (brain cells die faster when you lack sleep, and all the more when you're on a make believe diet, you know...) thus i have to wait for that moment of brilliance again... i hope it comes in the next 24 hours... along with kasipagan...

As a whole it felt like one of my off days... hindi ko nga alam if i'm stressed lang or woke up on the wrong side of bed or something kaya i was super sungit (inaamin ko naman naging masungit ako sa ilang mga tao kanina...) and super under the weather ako kanina... like somebody suddenly sucked out the sunshine in me... nakakatawa nga si mazy she kept on asking if im okay lang kasi parang kulang daw sa spring yung paa ko today... (thus i'm actually like a normal person today = not perky and )... haha she feels like she needs to inject me with something to bring back my usual self...

Anyway I had dinner with hs classmates yesterday kahit ngarag ako (kasi ang thrust ko this year is to have life outside work... doesn't seem to be working well on me though... well not yet... we'll see...i have to do something else on saturdays other than boxing... okay, focus, going off topic already) ... nakakatuwa how everyone is opening up about their love life tapos everyone really stops and listens and gives their 2 cents worth and their hirits and their "awww"s... (haha I super love bianca's kwento about ruth! as in the best kwento ever!!) funny how we're super open to share to everyone na... (well i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing na wala na akong makwento... haha) pero I realized i really missed those times na we would often see each other... hello dati every month meron... and then we all got busy and had work and now we see each other just once a year... or when someone comes home... (I think a reunion is already due... calling organizers? haha I can volunteer for pua tiong chiu this year...) well I find it really amazing how different our lives are now in some ways... Imagine we all used to be together in class, every single day and now we each have our own thing... It sort of makes us realize that yeah we are growing old na! Wahhhhhhhhhh!!!! It's not really the number that makes you feel old... it's the experiences and the responsibility that comes with it that makes you feel old...

So now I'm ending this entry feeling old? okay no point in blogging, it didn't really make me feel better!!! hahaha

In need of a jester!

2008-12-24T16:52:00.000+08:00

I'm already super bored... as in 1st day palang 'to ng vacation ha! I'm not sanay to do nothing anymore! I know I should've gone to the parlor instead and baked and stuff pero tinamad ako magdrive today eh... I don't want to go with the last-minute-shoppers crowd naman to get my ingredients... I'm thinking of making food for the gods though... I hope I get to it in the days to come....

can I just say naiirk ako kasi I'm craving for something rich and chocolate-y (like a dense brownie or food for the gods or a rich chocolate cake) pero it seems like no one brought dessert! how could everyone forget dessert?! like the only thing we have is fruit salad! that's it! no chocolate cake or brownies or any baked goods... alam mo yun nakakainis na nagccrave ka tapos ngat ngat ka ng ngat ngat on everything kasi you are trying to satisfy your craving pero hindi siya talaga nasasatisfy! looking at food blogs doesn't help either! only makes it worse!!!!!

anyway since I'm here at my grandparents' house with my cousins... nakakatawa to hear their banters at each other... "nerd!" "daddy, you know he's a nerd..." "you got invited to take the mtg exam?! nerd ka nga!" "teacher's pet!" haha and funny how they ask each other if they have crushes and stuff... hahaha... im sure we prolly went through that stage too... but that seems so long ago i can't even remember what I was doing at that age!

SFAS Christmas Party!

2008-12-07T19:05:00.000+08:00

I know I should be doing my presentation right now since I have to be ready to present 8 am tom... but knowing me, I should probably just write this down, or else I would prolly never have a chance to... (i'm super forgetful na, I think I need to have an external drive stuck to my brain to save everything na!)...

I went to EK today with sfas... well so far wala namang pinagbago ang EK... ganun parin siya... but I really had fun bonding with SFAS I really super miss these times... it's like tambay... aww how I wish the times when just tambay-ing would already make us happy... parang being a responsible adult is not something that you really decide to be, it's more of you turn into it without even knowing it, and somehow you just have this burden with you... it seems like the cloud over your head you just can't get rid of... it somehow feels like going where the wind blows over... that said I guess i want to go back to studying next next year... feeling ko in denial parin ako of being an adult! haha basta it just seems like such a burden that takes over life...

I also figured out that this feeling prolly came with the stress of "what career should I have?" and work and all that stuff, so I guess I need to do something outside work... as mads said it's so sad na parang now your work defines you so much... in a way that it takes up most of your time, it has the ability to change your lifestyle, the things you strive for, goals and ambition... i still really feel imprisoned by that concept... parang is it right to give up the most productive years of my life for that?? Thus I should really do something outside work that's not super stressful naman...

I super enjoyed my time bonding with everyone, catching up... lalo na with mads! and I so love beth's gift to me!! coin bank na pig! I love it! the baboy is super cute!!!!!!!

To buy or not to buy?

2008-12-01T16:26:00.000+08:00

I really really like this dress at Zara. It's P2000. It's grey so it's not something I totally won't be able to wear at parties, well except during bdays of course. I just love it, it's a bit maluwag on me though, pero doesn't fall off naman so ayos lang, wala na kasing XS eh... I would normally pay P1500 for a usual dress, for P2000 this is not bad na naman diba? please vote if I should buy

Long weekend

2008-11-30T08:42:00.000+08:00

Had dinner with the girls yesterday... As usual the time was kulang for us to catch up... but I'm really happy for all of us kasi finally we're at this point na we're all happy in our lives... we only hope that it will get better... love you girls!

I'm so tinatamad to work and stuff... but I have to... I'm hoping I'll finish this today...

what a stressful vacation!

2008-11-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

Just got back from vacation... I just need to blog kasi I got upset when I saw the sales figures ng weekend... as in argh!!!!!! (obviously masyado na akong attached sa work) tapos up until now ginagawa ko parin yung presentation ko... kaya kahit on vacation may ginagawa parin akong work... kaya on this trip hindi ako masyadong nakalabas (what a good excuse to stay at the hotel... haha)... hindi ko tuloy na-enjoy ng lubusan...

Colorgenics personality profile

2008-11-24T08:19:00.000+08:00

Nainggit kasi ako kay mar... hahaha kaya ito napatake rin ako nung test...

"You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

You are very talented, imaginative and sensitive but you are holding back as you do not really like going it 'on your own'. In preference you would like to team up with someone, someone with similar attributes as your own, to explore - to seek out and go perhaps 'where no other man has trod before'. It is the unusual that attracts you and which will give you a sense of excitement and adventure.

Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfil or realise all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervour."

Working/ Vacationing in bora

2008-11-22T10:09:00.000+08:00

Can you believe it?? I'm in bora but I'm working on my presentation for tues! As in I'm totally going crazy thinking of incentive programs and costs and marketing and promotions and costs... kasi sana natapos na ang planning namin para hindi ko na prinoproblema ito...pero sana talaga matapos ko 'to today! asa pa ako diba... pero dapat talaga para ma-enjoy ko na bukas!

on the bright side it's not raining here... the weather's actually nice and sunny! and I am eating everything in sight... nilalapit kasi ang pagkain sa akin, hindi ako ang lumalapit sa pagkain... I promise! hahaha katulad kanina nakahiga lang ako at nagpapatuyo sa araw when they offered me freshly baked peanut butter cookies, how can you resist that?! then after lunch, they offered us free dessert naman! who am i to say no right??! tapos we have welcome treats at our room kasi, since naunang maayos ang supposedly room namin (na inangkin na nila mama) di kinain ko ang mga pastries na andun, tapos nung tapos na ang room nila mama, since tulog na sila sa kuwarto namin at ako lang ang asa room na bago, kinain ko rin ang mga welcome treats! see 1st day palang yun! wala pa ang dinner sa lagay na ito... mukha mapapalibre ako ng dairy queen nito! haha at natuwa pa ako nung pagcheck out ng kwarto namin kasi may weighing scale, sabi ko pa talaga kay abby g, uy may weighing scale sa kwarto namin! hahaha para maguage ko kung tataba ako dito... parang kahit ata hindi ko na iweigh ang sarili ko alam ko na ang lalabas!

ang pictures ko ay WIP pa dahil hindi ko pala dala ang cable sa digicam ko... wag kayo magalala wala rin namang picture ko yun... yung hotel lang pinicturan ko! haha

In desperate need of shopping!

2008-11-16T11:08:00.000+08:00

Been out in the field the past few days... Finished 6 malls yesterday! woohoo! Go me! haha... See how I motivate myself to work on a sat?! haha I'm hoping I can do the same on monday so I can finish up and make my presentation for wed... I'm even working sundays now in order to put together my presentation... Am I turning into a workaholic?! haha ok that's new to me... I need a vacation already... I like have no life apart from work already! but it's not like I have a choice... I really haven't been out in like forever! need to go shopping asap...ugh as soon as i finish this talaga....

another thing... dieting is so hard!!!!!! argh!!!!!! I definitely need a plan!!!!!!

Need to shop!!

2008-11-13T17:48:00.000+08:00

I felt like I haven't shopped in 10 years!!!!! as in ang tagal ko na talaga hindi nakashop but it doesnt look like I will get to shop this weekend or the next because I'm going to work rin... parang amy pera ako noh?! hahaha... pero super dami pang asa list ko na hindi ko nabibili:

New bag (still thinking about the one in topshop)
boots(yung flat lang)
new shoes/ sandals/ wedge for work
dark jeans
boxing gloves
more shirts (my sister always gets mad at me for borrowing her clothes)
new dress (parang wala na akong dress)

Just looking at my list makes me feel broke already!!!

Another argh moment!!

2008-11-09T08:17:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nabangga ng kapatid ko yung car!!!! kasi as in sabi ko na "stop, stop, stop!!!!!!" tapos hindi parin nakinig! hindi nagfull stop! buti yung nabangga namin mabait as in nilet go nalang. At buti nalang konting gas gas lang! pero argh argh argh parin talaga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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HIndi parin ako tapos sa presentation ko... asa 1/4 palang siguro ako!

can I just say: Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-06T17:02:00.000+08:00

Can I just say naiirita ako talaga... as in gusto kong kumurot ng singit ng tao sa inis... sayang hindi na katulad ng sa org na tatanungin ka who you don't want to work with, kung dati wala ako naisasagot... hay nako kung ngayon ako tatanungin sa office may isasagot na ako... tapos sa kamalasan mukhang yun pa talaga yung makakawork ko diba... argh! ayoko naman magpakaprimadona kaya sige itry nating maging civil... tingnan natin kung gaano ko kakayanin yun... haha feeling ko halata sa mukha ko kaninang irita talaga ako....

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Nakakatawa yung anak ni wannah kanina.... hahaha manang mana sa kanya... haha pero in fairness hindi siya mahiyain at friendly!

updates! updates!

2008-11-03T12:55:00.000+08:00

I feel like so much has happened during the last few weeks...Hmm something tells me I need a change... soon! I'm going "shopping!" well I have "fittings" scheduled for the next few days so that seems like a good thing

Well I finally got my driver's license renewed na! After a month of not driving (well except to the gym which is 2 blocks away from our house), I feel like such a lousy driver! I still find it cifficult to park!

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My latest ultimate kababawan "pick-me-up" food is Mcdo's Sundae cone (has to be in a cup so the cone will get soggy... I know I'm weird that way... the same way I don't like my cereal crunchy, it has to be soggy!)... I even like it more than regular Ice cream! (with the exception of Haagen Dazs of course!)

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Anyways I'm going to try to go on a 30 day diet challenge soon... I want to lose 5 lbs, well I guess anything under 105 lbs is welcome.... hindi ko pa alam ang weight ko ngayon kasi it fluctuates 1-2 lbs weekly... I don't know how I will do it though... eat once a day? liquid diet? all veggie diet? boxing twice a week? sandwiches for lunch? cereal for lunch? hindi ko ata kaya ang no carbs diet... hmmm everything in moderation diet? (wala ata akong sense of moderation) wah! haha basta this is in preparation for the 5 lbs I will probably gain for Christmas! haha

Emo day

2008-10-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

This has been such a stressful day... as in grabe nagalit, naiinis, naiiyak, naiinggit, at nasstress na ako....

Oh and my career dilemma... I was contemplating whether to accept a job offer from globe or not... in the end I turned it down, I think I know myself well enough na, na if I don't really like what I'm doing, ako rin yung nahihirapan and nagsusuffer in the end... It was really a tough one... but I think I should move for the right reasons...

CMAP... I really want to see this succeed... but ugh! it's so frustrating...

and argh this person... I'm trying not to be mean but some people are just argh!!!! I mean I'm the type of person naman if mabait kung mabait and well if I don't like you I definitely won't fake it... kaya argh I'm really trying my best to control my temper... I think I'm transparent in that sense... the thing about this is that maskina naiinis ka sa isang tao, nasasaktan ka rin eh... I think I was already flaring up kanina sa inis... buti nalang nccontrol ko pa sarili ko kahit papano... I guess one of the things I totally hate eversince is the feeling na someone is being unfair... hs pa ako, bata pa ako may strong sense na ako ng ganito, I would fight for it, cry and really get angry sa mga ganitong bagay... that's why halong galit and sakit siya... As in gusto ko magboxing today dahil dito para malabas ko lang ang stress ko.... I need to go to the gym on sat!

I hate it that so many people I care about are getting sick.. it's disheartening... sometimes i feel so helpless...

I guess one highlight of the day is SFAS anniversary pala namin today!!!!!!! 3rd yr anniversary namin!!!!! I miss you guys!!!

Dilemma/ Dilemmas... when will it ever end??

2008-10-19T18:11:00.000+08:00

Okay now I'm totally confused... I have a career dilemma... again!

another dilemma: I want to buy a new bag! I feel like I haven't bought a bag in ages and i'm a bag-aholic! I want one in topshop, I love it!!! i've been wanting to buy this bag for months now!!! but it's not in my budget! okay so to buy or not to buy?

this is crazy!!

2008-10-17T18:25:00.000+08:00

huhuhu ang gulo gulo na ng utak ko....

1. CMAP... nako ewan ko ba... basta ang gulo gulo hindi na ata nagfufunction utak ko... ang dami dami pang gagawin at kailangan kumita ito kahit anong mangyari... basta kahit ako naguguluhan eh... pero love ko naman talaga 'to parang FP drama lang.... except parang mas confident pa ako sa planning skills ng FP dati kaysa ngayon....

2. Txtingo... blah blah... (see sabaw na talaga ako blah blah blah blah blah nalang lumalabas...) kahit ako gumagawa ako ng marketing strategy ngayon napakasabaw ko na hindi ko nga maform ang mga sasabihin ko at hindi na ako makaisip creatively eh....

3. Career dilemma... hindi ko alam kung ano dapat kong gawin at may deadline ako sa tues... My co-MDPs keep me sane... love you guys!!!

Food! Glorious Food!

2008-10-14T06:49:00.000+08:00

I just feel like blogging today... Maybe because I need to lift my spirits because the weather is sullen and gloomy....

Yesterday I went downstairs at around 2 am to find my brother slaving away for a pot of dulce de leche... I find it really amazing how my brother doesnt have enough patience to study kahit for a short while but surprisingly he can patiently babysit a pot of dulce de leche for 4 freakin hours!!!!! I mean imagine that 4 hours just to reduce 1 liter to a thick and syrupy cup of dulce de leche! He was up until 2 or 3 am reducing that dulce de leche to his desired consistency (yes we're perfectionists in that sense... we actually look forward to a dish that brings us to nirvana... and yes we all critique our food whenever we go to a new place... which reminds me, I haven't been to nirvana for quite some time now...) yes he made dulce de leche from scratch! I don't know where he got this recipe... from alton brown or from gordon ramsey... but then again I'm really really amazed how methodical he is when he cooks because he's sloppy doing any other thing.... It's really some sort of science to him... and well he reads up on it and follows each step carefully.... which I can never seem to do unless I'm baking...

Maybe we can already start a family business at home! and we can have a dessert place that's famous for its innovations! (hey it's my blog! i can dream all I want!) hahaha hey the three of us made souffle once! And the Soft peaks were made without a mixer mind you... and it made us realize how difficult it is to make soft peaks without a mixer.. but nonetheless it was successful...

Food really is one of my life long passions! In fact, it's the longest love affair I've ever had in my entire life! haha

So far I have nothing to do pa for today... blah blah blah.... boring day...

How old should you be to feel really old?

2008-10-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

Parang ngayon ko lang narealize.... saying that you're 22 seems like old as in really old... as in moving beyond 21 is like sooo old.... I mean how old should you really be to feel old as in really old?? I just sometimes feel that I'm being thrown into this place where the world dictates I'm supposed to be but what if it's not really where I want to be?

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On a different note, I'm too tamad to go to gym today which makes me totally guilty because I totally pigged out at Inagiku today... If only you could see my plate full of sushi... I must have had at the very least 12 ginormous pieces of sushi on my plate... I know I eat too much.... and didn't have enough will power to go to the gym... does that come with being old??!

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This is a super different news naman coming from me... Im actually enjoying work for the last month! I enjoy gaming solutions kasi sobrang iba ibang projects kaya hindi boring and well I get to meet a whole lot of people during deployment.... I actually enjoy deployment kasi I don't get stuck in the office all the time... I do field like half the week or more than half the week...

we had the Premyo sa resibo launch on friday at the block and I just have to say I so miss events! as in namiss ko na yung frenzy of things... considered how rushed this thing is with the whole CMAP and all the event was fine naman... If it were up to me I would do more planning and a little lead time though... and more ads... I super miss FP na... it's really weird but I really really don't enjoy parties or events all that much if I'm not part of the organizing committee... I mean I'm not a party person, I don't drink, I don't dance, I rarely enjoy the entertainment unless it's extraordinarily entertaining so what else would be better than to organize the event right?! haha

Different side of you...

2008-10-02T19:50:00.000+08:00

I was watching the Sisterhood of Traveling Pants and I dont know it just made me cry... as in it's so hard to try to control myself from sobbing! haha I know I'm sappy but that's me... it's like I dont know if its my personal issues that I'm keeping too or I can just empathize so well...

Do you ever wonder if there's anyone who sees you as who you really are... all of you... I dont know... I just sometimes think that sometimes people see a certain side of us and that's what you are to them... Do they see a different side of you? I mean I know you are also the one who chooses what you want to reveal to each person... I mean I guess I choose which person I want to reveal certain insecurities/ problems/ drama/ whatever to for a certain reason... but do you think you would ever find that person to whom you'd reveal everything to... your quiet side, your insecure/ vulnerable side, your funny side, your sappy side, or the child within you, your quirks, your witty side, your reflective side, your bratty side, your maldita side, your malambing side, your best and your worst... Do you think that as you go through certain experiences in your life some parts of you die because you choose to or you have to? Does it really die or is it just hidden?

I didnt know that learning about yourself is like looking through different facets of a diamond...

Birthdays...

2008-09-30T06:49:00.000+08:00

Birthdays... Maybe it's true that as you grow older you get a bit wiser... Yesterday was a super normal day for me... walang nabago sa routine ko actually... as in super normal niya we ate at home lang at hindi nga ako nakasabay sa kanila sa dinner kasi I was feeling so tired and sick dahil acidic ako all throughout the afternoon tapos nagka-sinat and sipon pa ako... I realized that birthdays are not really about you, it's a celebration of all the blessings you have received in life..

Thank you sa lahat ng naggreet!!! You're all blessings to me...

on a side note my pagiging acidic always attacks ng wrong time! haha last 2 attacks prior to this was on our trip in HK and the next one was in China... super wrong timing diba esp when you're travelling! I know I should always bring antacids with me... or maybe this means that I should eat more often! hahaha

Cutting some things out...

2008-09-27T08:58:00.000+08:00

It's usual saturday morning, actually ako lang naiwan sa bahay kasi both of my siblings are out... so I am stuck watching tyra... they have an interesting topic... basta it's sort of something happening thus you have to cut out some friends from your life... and they ended with the essence of the scene in sex and the city where miranda met steve in the bridge, na when they meet it means that they have put everything behind them and they wouldn't brint it up anymore and hold it against each other anymore... so to be able to come to that bridge you have to decide whether you can leave that bridge under the water or you are going to cut those people out forever....

About 6-8 months back I had this fight with this person and to hurt me and to add insult to injury... this person told me, well you know one of the people from your group told me how blah blah blah you are you know... I'm sure he told me that to hurt me, it's not to let me know that hey watch out for some of your friends... but I think past the hurt and the anger I started to cut out some people in my life who could've said these things... I have to admit I don't know who it really is so I don't know who I could really blame but I just started to push some people back and hold on to the people I know I can trust... that's one of the most important things in a friendship... It's not something easy to suddenly start doubting the people in your life and moreover cutting them out you know... but I guess you just can't trust everyone... I think I'm naturally just more trusting dati... but I think now I try to be more aware of who I can trust to a certain degree... I guess I won't be able to decide whether to come to that bridge until I found out who said that...

I want to try Sanfo Treats Dessert Bar!

2008-09-24T11:12:00.000+08:00

Have you seen the Sanfo Treats dessert bar in glorietta?! It's like being a kid back in candy land!!!!! As in it looks like the sea side candy shops that sell caramel apples in Cannery Row! Just the smell of candies and just the store itself is enough to make me happy! It has the same effect on me as disneyland! They have the caramel apples, the frozen bananas, fondue, sodas, rootbear floats,shakes, ice cream, frozen banana splits, twinkies, deep fried candy bars (nakakatakot ito itry kasi parang feeling mo after you eat it you'll end up with a heart attack!) Unfortunately nung bibili ako ng frozen chocolate covered banana they had no change for me so I didn't ge to buy Anyway, here's some pictures I stole from the internet to show you how adorable the store is....

50 Things Most Men Don't Know about Women

2008-09-16T17:48:00.000+08:00

I got this from zel

I would say I agree with maybe half of them...

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift. (They also know how to change a flat tire.) -agree!

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. My best friend knows everything. When my friend smirks at you knowingly, you are not imagining it. She knows something. So just know that she knows, and deal with it. (It's not going to change.)

Ask her about me, or chat with her about our relationship, at your own risk. She will tell me. Even -- in fact, especially -- if she promises not to. This is not always a bad thing (e.g., if you happen to be telling her how much you love me). But, in general, remember that she is my confidante first, and yours never.

5. When you go away, even for a day, I sleep in your favorite old T-shirt because it smells like you.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" or "Okay" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. -uhuh! be honest but always counter with a bola! haha

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I still think about my ex-boyfriends and compare them to you. Mostly you win. Sometimes not.

11. I expect you to call me -uhuh!

12. I have Googled your exes.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. When I say, "I'm ready," I'll need exactly 7 more minutes to get ready. Don't try to cheat the system by showing up 7 minutes later; I will still need an extra 7 minutes. -maybe 10 mins in my case!

16. You've made me cry more times than you'll ever know.

17. I want you to talk a little dirty.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I'm constantly testing you. I observe, analyze, and judge every action, word, gesture, e-mail, and facial expression. When I ask you if you want to have a threesome, I don't mean it. If you want me to speak to you again, let alone sleep with you after this conversation, the answer should always be, "Why would I want to sleep with another woman when I have you?"

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. -awww

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. I need constant indications that you want me around. That's why it's better, for example, to say, "I want you to come away with me for the weekend. Could you come with me?" than to ask, "What are you up to this weekend?" -true!

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. I love it when you get a little jealous. So if you ever see me flirting in front of you with the waiter, the bus driver, or another guy at a party, know I'm actually flirting with you -- through him. -haha! take note!

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. -super!!!

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. I start fights with you because I'm feeling ignored. I'm trying to force emotion out of you. Don't retreat into your cave; just give me what I want: some attention. And never tell me to "calm down," unless you want to guarantee that I absolutely won't. -agree!

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times. -agree!

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. Even if I insist on paying or splitting the bill on our first date, I'll think you're cheap if you let me. -uhuh! super cheap!

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... -sssssssssoooooooo agree!!!!!

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. -agree!

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more without my telling you.

Lazy Sundays

2008-09-14T13:32:00.000+08:00

Today was a really lazy sunday for me... We just dropped my sister off at UP for her econ exam then went to the grocery for some stuff and I also canvassed some stuff for pua tiong chiu... and as i was writing down stuff for possible prizes the guard told me na bawal magcanvass! argh! i had to write down everything in my cellphone tuloy... hay nako... and i also ended up with 3 pints of ice cream: green tea, avocado and dark chocolate (if not for my dad I would have chosen another green ice cream, pistachio! haha wala lang i find it weird that the ice cream flavors that I like are all green) apart from the one that i'm going to bring for pua tiong chiu....

On our way back to UP I noticed how much less traffic there is sa QC circle on sundays, also how serene and quiet UP seems to be during sundays... it's on days like this na gusto ko matry magdorm sa UP (pero overnight lang ha... isa kasi talaga sa mga pet peeves ko ang bathroom eh... sa lahat talaga over the bedroom bathroom talaga ang one thing that I find difficult to share... i super love taking long hot baths kasi parang yun yung super private time for you to pamper yourself eh)... wala lang gusto ko lang ma-experience how it's like na when you open your eyes na mag-isa ka lang (in a sense na hindi mo kasama family mo) and asa school ka pero wala namang pasok, tapos parang ang serene ng surroundings, parang sobrang iba compared to weekdays, parang hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko but on the other hand I'm sure I would walk around a lot to appreciate my surroundings... I super love walking around during sunny afternoons (sawa na ako maglakad sa makati though)... magsasawa kaya ako kung dun ako nakatira? my favorite place is still the sunken garden... haha I never knew I appreciated nature all that much until I got to working in makati... haha which totally turned me against building

Can i just say... I hate the nanny sa one tree hill! as in super flirt! as in hate her.... and i feel so sorry for peyton... parang so aww for her na you just want to hug her and just try to ease some of the pain that she's been feeling...

What an unsettling life!

2008-09-13T08:39:00.000+08:00

I was talking to a friend yesterday who wanted to get out of her job because she didnt want it anymore but then again she doesnt know what she wants anymore... And I found myself so unsettled because I knew that I'm amongst the hundreds if not millions of people our age who didnt really know what they want but they desperately want to find out... You think that you graduate from college and you're already set... you know what you want and then things will just follow... but it's just not like that... you get into an okay job and then the longer you stay, the more lost you become... then suddenly you end up totally lost, not knowing what you want... then you start wondering, "so what's really the thing for me?"

See I have this problem of things get too old, too quickly... I feel like when I am excited about something I'm super into it for like 2-4 hrs... and I'll just keep blabbering ideas left and right...after that parang okay the hype has already died down, now it's just starting to get old then I'm already bored of it... I have this super short attention span talaga... that's why I have a hard time figuring out what I want as in long term... Although most of my friends' best bet for me has so far been culinary... haha is it that obvious that I have a life lonf love affair with food??! hahaha so far though yeah that's something that I dont mind doing for the rest of my life...

Well truth be told I want to go back to school to learn more... I feel like whatever I have learned is still so kulang pa... if I could do like a yr more in school with more electives.... I would definitely love that... Well I do want to go back to school for other courses pa besides marketing and management, I want to improve on my finance skills, enroll in culinary school, take courses in psych, take classes in fashion design (I want to learn how to make bags... haha), continue french, brush up on my mandarin (well make that re-learn since i seriously doubt i could get past grade 1 chinese right now).... see I'm not even done learning yet!

Getting left behind

2008-09-07T10:10:00.000+08:00

Do you ever feel like life is passing you by? like people are moving ahead and you are getting left behind?? Is it just change or you refusing to get on with the changes? Am I stuck in a rut?? Sometimes I'm so tired of this phase of my life... I want to move on to the next phase... sawa na ako dito... I don't want to be here anymore... I want to get into the phase na tahimik na yung buhay ko... that's all I really want anyway.... (this entry is making me cry... gusto ko ng umiyak as in sobra...) as in ayoko na talaga dito sa phase na 'to... hindi na siya masaya eh at nakakagulo lang at nakakasakit lang...

_________________________________________________________________________________

I've got a couple of things on my mind right now bothering me.... as abby g's message said... "waiting is the greatest agony... because you nerver really know what's coming to you. You don't know if it's worth your time or not. It's a do or dies thing. All bets are placed and only a brave heart can take the risk.... no, it's not a risk... it's a sacrifice. That's why waiting is painful..." I don't really feel like sharing what specifically this thing is about to everyone... but yeah this is kind of hard because based on past experiences, I always end up with the worst case scenario... always... exactly just like a yr ago... omg ang pangit naman ng timing... I can't believe what's happening... (so is this just to prove to me that i haven't had the worst bday yet? there are more to come? kung ganun rin lang, sige wag nalang ako magbbday!) it's not like magagawa ako diba... it's just something that's out of my hands... well that's what's driving me crazy too na parang i'm worried about something but i can't fix it!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!

Questions for the future of UP

2008-09-05T09:12:00.000+08:00

*"UP is home to a student population that looks at the world and cares." As we, UP graduates, represent ourselves to the world, have we thought about lately the more critical responsibility that our dear university instilled upon us, and the difference we once promised to make?

Questions for the future of u.p.
September 3, 2008
By Washington Sycip (centennial lecture)

President emerlinda roman, members of the faculty and friends of u.p.

not being a graduate of the leading educational institution of the country, i am deeply honored that you have invited me to be one of the speakers in your celebration of a hundred years of service to the nation.

in today's talk i intend to raise a number of very frank questions. Since you receive more government funds than any other educational institution in the country, i, as a taxpayer, may claim the right to do so.

I hope you will not consider this as an abuse of the gracious invitation extended me by president roman.

1. Going over the book the university of the philppines – a university for filipinos which was published as u.p. Celebrated its diamond jubilee twenty five years ago, one cannot miss the introduction that says "…a u.p. Degree holder is generally believed to be more capable than most college graduates, as well as imbued with a sense of purpose…with minds capable of new ideas and perceptions and passionate commitment to the social good".

If u.p. Has accurately claimed that during the past 62 years, after we left the u.s. Umbrella, u.p. Graduates have occupied the presidential chair for 46 years, then i may ask you "why are we in such a mess?"

Over fifty years ago, we were told that with our advantages of being a christian nation and a democracy, we will be, next to japan, the leading nation in east asia. Today we find ourselves in a steadily declining position regardless of what measure we go by: poverty index, per capita spending on education, crime rate, corruption ranking, peace and order, rural health, the list goes on.

Unfortunately, we have even found ourselves, inspite of our large population, with the lamentable distinction of being the only major southeast asian nation that did not win any medal at the recently concluded olympic games.

Can we blame the religion spain brought to our shores five centuries ago for our limitations or the u.s. For the failure of our democracy? Shouldn't our decades of freedom be long enough for us to correct any inherited disadvantages?

With all the talented people we have, why have we not been able to produce a lee kwan yew, who in one generation brought his people in singapore to income levels of the u.s. Or germany ?

Or a k. T. Li of taiwan , a physics graduate of cambridge , who introduced the computer to every age group in taiwan so that this small country has become the largest exporter of computers and components?

Or a mahathir of malaysia who greatly improved infrastructure and increased income levels of all citizens in a mixed society of malays, chinese and indians?

Or a general park of south korea whose tough and disciplined administration industrialized a country where the large firms successfully competed with the companies of its former colonial master?

Or a deng hsiao ping who released the energy of his people to achieve in 25 years the greatest reduction of poverty in world history?

We did have the promise of a ramon magsaysay who as secretary of defense greatly improved peace and order but whose unfortunate early death 50 years ago prevented him from carrying out a program to improve the lives of the bottom group of our people.

Then we had rafael salas, a brilliant graduate of u.p.

In 1969, fresh from managing the transformation of chronic shortage into an astounding philippine rice sufficiency breakthrough, salas accepted a united nations offer to head a fledgling fund. He believed at the u.n. There would be a possiblity of making a contribution to solving what he thought was becoming one of the world's major problems – population. He thought that the same strategies employed in the rice sufficiency program, would work in a sophisticated international environment as they did in tradition bound philippine rural communities. In fact he was proven right. Alex marshall of the united nations population fund writes:
"the consensus which salas built is more than an act of diplomacy. It is the solid evidence of the recognition worldwide of the importance of population in development programmes. It has helped to change the policies of governments; it has helped to change the lives of millions of people. It has set men and women free to make choices for themselves, and helped secure the future of children yet unborn. They and all of us stand in his debt."
But filipinos have surmised that rafael left the philippines because his integrity and competence could not survive in a climate of government corruption.

Will u.p. Be able to produce other leaders like salas and can they succeed in the philippine political soil?
In 1983, thirty years after he had graduated from this university, and at that time an under secretary general at the united nations, he returned here to receive an honorary doctor of laws degree from his alma mater. As salas thanked the university for the honor conferred on him, he also took leave by asking the question:
"what can the scholars of this university do to solve the problems of the philippines when it will be a country of 70 million people"?
His widow, carmelita r. Salas, the highly respected philippine ambassador to the czech republic , speaking at the world population day forum in manila this last july, pointed to this very same concern. Today, she said, the philippines is a country of 89 million, and in 2030 will be close to 140 million. Again, rafael would have asked the scholars of this university the same question today.
I ask: what would be their answer?
Post edsa i, in february of 1987, when freedom in the philippines had been won with what the world would know as "people power", salas was keynote speaker at the district meeting of rotary clubs in manila. In a speech that one rotarian referred to as the best sona he had ever heard, rafael spoke on "managing the aftermath". Let me read to you part of what he said:
"but this freedom cannot be fully exercised unless there is order. Governments are instituted to insure peace, stability and continuity; to enable the citizens to plan their future and insure the survival and growth of their children. The resumption of hostilities with the npa and the constant threat of rebellion in mindanao and a very high incidence of crime are pointers of the lack of order i speak of. Insecurity stifles productivity. No long-term investment and high productivity can be encouraged when businessmen feel uncertain and insecure. The administration has exerted a sincere effort to resolve these problems. But time presses. Order must prevail. A free society cannot be mobilized for development unless there is a feeling of safety and confidence in the future."

The same speech would have been relevant post edsa ii.

How prophetic and unfortunate that things have not changed the past 20 years!

But "why" we must ask ourselves.

Let us begin by focusing on education.

We tend to unfairly blame every current administration for our problems. But can't we see that the steady decline of educational standards is the cumulative effect of the neglect of many administrations and the unwillingness to adopt long term solutions to problems that cannot be solved by a ribbon cutting event!

The success or failure of any organization depends upon its policies and efforts on developing its human resources. For a nation to adopt short term policies on education is national suicide! Doesn't the solution of peace and order problems depend upon relatively equal educational opportunities for the rich and poor, for the christians and moslems?

2. We as a nation are proud to have a university older than harvard. Proud that u.p. Celebrates the success of a hundred years. We are proud of ateneo, la salle and many other catholic universities where men and women of upper income groups are educated.

We praise these institutions of learning but as a nation we seem to accept the scandalously high national dropout rates of students in basic education. The figures are worse in moslem areas and in poor communities.

In many towns and villages, synergeia, led by nene guevara, and working with mayors and community leaders who want change, has improved literacy rates. But much, much greater national efforts are needed.

As the recipient of the largest of government education funds, shouldn't u.p. Endeavor to enlist its many successful and wealthy alumni in a campaign to return to their alma mater the benefits they have received from the school and thus enable more funds to be diverted from u.p. And allocated to basic education?

Should the students from upper income groups not be asked to pay for the full cost of education? When upper income families send their children abroad, they do pay "full tuition". Should they not be asked to do the same in their own country?

Has u.p. Studied how neighboring countries have dropped poverty levels?

The asian development bank just released a report pointing out that the philippines and india , who claim to be democracies, lag behind east asian countries in reducing poverty. China and vietnam , both authoritarian states, are the two countries that have rapidly reduced poverty. Are there lessons to be learned here?

Why have singapore and thailand developed hospitals for "medical tourism" while we send our excellent doctors and nurses to developed countries? Should we not advocate some system where destination countries compensate us for training these professionals?

Are inward remittances of poor overseas workers with divided families offsetting outward remittances of upper income filipinos, educated in subsidized schools like u.p., and setting up households abroad?

You can, of course, tell me that the world is flat and young people should be free to move anywhere. Yes - our young men and women should go abroad – it widens their horizon and gives them the skills to better serve their country. But we should strive to keep their hearts filipino and with a resolve that they will return to serve in their country's development. And government policy should work with them to use its limited resources to reduce poverty and improve the lives of all citizens.

Is u.p. Doing its part to help government adopt long term educational measures to ensure this?

3. We all agree on the need of national unity. Can we point to the politics of fraternities as the root of the excessive time spent on national politics? Or is the lack of unity a basic disadvantage of an island nation?

is the sluggish pace of economic development the result of blind acceptance of western thinking that political freedom or democracy comes ahead of economic freedom? Doesn't democracy assume that there must be the "rule of law" which implies an independent judiciary with well trained and well paid honest lawyers? Where judges may be poorly paid and subject to political pressures is it possible to have an independent judiciary let alone a working democracy?

u.p. Has produced excellent lawyers and many of the bar topnotchers that are managing the large law firms – but are they leaders in reforming the judicial system?

4. U.p. And asia

How close is u.p. To recognizing that the philippines is part of asia and that china, india and japan will be exerting more influence on our future than the u.s. And europe ?

Is the faculty of u.p.'s school of asian studies deeply knowledgeable about the culture and the political thinking of our neighbors and are they proficient in other asian languages?

Even japan, very closely allied to the u.s. , does not have the government or economic structure of the western world. The party in power has not changed for over 50 years and its corporate structure and behavior are very different from western firms.

With the toyota donation, you will at least have the physical structure for the school of asian studies. But the faculty is even more important than the building.

Does our being the only catholic country in asia, with an extremely conservative church leadership, seen only in poland and malta , hamper our capacity to understand our asian neighbors? What is the role of u.p. As the only well known philippine university that is not catholic?

With a 6% moslem minority and our dependence on imported energy, does u.p. Have a faculty that is knowledgeable in the history and culture of the middle east and fluent in arabic languages?

To follow u.s. Policy, which will have to favor israel , can only spell disaster for the philippines .

Has u.p. Studied what measures should be taken to narrow the education gap between christians and moslems?

5. U.p. Campus

About 10 days ago i was present at the ceremonies when toyota , responding to the efforts of george ty, agreed to donate the very attractive p100 million building to u.p. Its architect, jose danilo silvestre, dean of the college of architecture, assured me that he and other alumni like mr. Palafox, noted urban designer, would be willing to donate their time and expertise to landscape the present campus.

Maintenance of a "new" campus can be assigned to building occupants or fraternities, or student organizations. Maybe you can collect parking fees from cars parked in the campus. Talented filipino artists and sculptors can then be encouraged to display their work in the campus!

Does u.p. Have a development plan for its large campus?

6. U.p. And tourism

our 3,000,000 arrivals a year are way behind our neighbors' 10 to 12 million visitors. Tourism benefits all the people in the countryside. Our people are known to be the most hospitable and friendly. We are ahead of our neighbors in english, the first language of tourism.

when i visited bohol last year i was told the influx of german tourists to the attractive island is due to the 200 germans who have happily settled there with their filipina wives.

the hospitality industry will be the growth area of the country. Will your different schools play a major role in assisting secretary durano achieve his targets?

7. U.p. And agriculture

I have met many thais who are graduates of the prestigious los baños agricultural school. But i wonder why the thais, who usually bring back a filipina wife, have made thai agriculture much more productive and efficient than what we have been able to do here.

Let us take notice of the dole success story. As dean of the business school, cesar virata had strongly advocated cooperation with los baños. Through his efforts, dole established their very successful and productive agri-business operations in mindanao.

With the catholic church's campaign against a sound government population policy, which in turn hampers the country's capacity for addressing its population growth rate, perhaps u.p.'s contribution to increasing rice production, can prevent a recurrence of the problem that we had this year!

I was on the board of a malaysian palm oil company that was diversifying into bamboo, they told me the bamboo experts were in los baños. Yet we import bamboo shoots from china!

Since agriculture is still the most important part of our economy, shouldn't u.p. Then, in cooperation with successful farmers, put particular focus on the study and implementation of efficient food production to bring food costs down?

8. Alumni relations

a new university has the disadvantage of not having a successful alumni group that you can tap for funds.

U.p. Has the advantage of celebrating a centennial with very distinguished and wealthy graduates in practically every field of activity. But has your dependence on government funds resulted in a neglect of your alumni? How many buildings, laboratories, auditoriums, professorial chairs have been donated by your many prosperous alumni?

many of the facilities at the philippine general hospital needs improvement. Yet this was the training ground of many doctors from u.p. One very socially responsible u.p. Medical school graduate in the u.s. , who is planning to retire here, told me he was shocked when some of his classmates here were bragging about how little taxes they were paying inspite of their luxurious houses, cars and trips abroad!

are your alumni aware that they can legally reduce taxes by donating to u.p.? Maybe yearly seminars to update your graduates on the latest developments in their profession can encourage them to give an annual amount to u.p.

i have no doubt that a well organized and aggressive alumni relations office will yield large dividends for u.p. And the nation.

9. Faculty

The greatness of a university is always measured by its faculty. Faculty that will inspire not merely instruct. Mentors that will encourage learning and the use of this knowledge towards nation building.

A nation's progress is also determined by what it does to develop its human resources.

I read the report of your national college of public administration and governance and was very impressed with the qualifications of the faculty and lecturers. Aside from seminars, publications and workshops, won't it be wonderful if they can implement the many changes they are advocating, in basic education, in the civil service, in local government and in the fight against corruption?

my contacts with your faculty are mainly from your excellent school of economics and the business school and, of course, with cynthia bautista who has given invaluable help to the magsaysay foundation in focusing on its plans for the next 50 years.

Is this standard of excellence i see also found in the other departments?

can u.p. Encourage its bright faculty to publish objective position papers on national issues that will stop the endless and confusing debates that are in full page ads in the daily newspapers?

considering the contribution u.p. Can make in our nation's future, should this university not have a "think tank" with experts from its different schools, possibly also working with non u.p. Graduates, to study where the nation is today, its negatives and positives, and how it could move forward in the next 25 and 50 years?

Hopefully, our many bright people will unite behind this program to reduce poverty and put the philippines again in a respectable position in asia .

Maybe some of the questions i have raised may be expecting too much from an educational institution, with limited funds, to solve all of our national problems.

But it is the price of leadership. The brightest young men and women come to your campus and for these young minds, you must endeavor to attract and retain the best faculty in every school.

It is my profound hope that against all challenges, this great university, with an inspired administration, a strong faculty and an alumni conscious of its responsibility to the nation, can, together with the secretary of education, take the lead in the implementation of major reforms in our public schools, without which poverty reduction will be difficult. And without which, equal opportunity for all its citizens to benefit from economic growth will not be attainable.

With the present financial difficulties facing the developed world, optimists are in short supply. But can we hope that we could follow the path of ireland , also a very strong catholic country, that was able to convince the political parties to adopt a common economic program which resulted in the return of the young talented people that had migrated to the united states and united kingdom ? Can the very competent and disciplined economists of u.p. Lead in such an effort?

Only then can a united, peaceful and prosperous nation become a reality!

U.p. Alumni closely identify the oblation with their alma mater. But how many of them really know that when the sculptor tolentino created this figure of a young man whose arms are outstretched in a gesture of sacrifice to his country and humanity, the artist also placed at its feet a cluster of katakalanta leaves, a plant that rapidly multiplies to symbolize, as tolentino tells us the "undying stream of heroism in the filipino race."

I need a vacation!

2008-09-04T06:17:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a bit under the weather/ pissed off also tinatamad.... argh talaga... as in worst timing to schedule a presentation.... what a way to ruin friday... and 2 days before?? as in super ayoko pa to get out of bed and tinatamad parin ako to make a presentation and report... really pissed off... I think I'm too pissed off to work clearly... I think I need another vacation! haha... but really may new dilemma na ako again with my work right now.... maybe I just need a vacation... I can't wait for this week to be so over!

"ber" months

2008-09-01T11:42:00.000+08:00

As it is the 1st day of september, it also marks the beginning of the ber months and several people are already anticipating christmas (as i noticed on people's status message on ym... ) haha it's funny how we get into the Christmas spirit so early and seem to drag it on into the following year until about february... see we spend 6 mos anticipating, celebrating and remiscing Chritmas! but that's just one of the things why I love living in this country... Well I'm not yet that excited, give me maybe a month more... but I'm really anticipating Christmas this year kasi I felt like I was too angry last year, thus I missed the Christmas spirit... I'm a lot more thankful now that life has been more stable and more peaceful this yr although I may sometimes rant that it's boring... but I like boring more than chaotic... it's less stressful and it doesnt clutter my mind with rubbish...

I'm usually even more excited for Christmas rather than my own bday... in fact I had a weird dream a few days ago.... It was the day of my birthday daw but I forgot that it was my birthday, 2 people greeted me daw to remind me it was my bday pero it still felt like it went in one ear and out the other... I wonder why it seems like bdays seem to be more insignificant to you as you get older? (unless you are chinese and you hit the age of 70 and 80 then you start celebrating 70 and 80 for three years in a row, throwing people off as to how old you really are... ) Is it because we are afraid to grow old? Or is it because the unpleasant stuff come piling on as the years come that you finally stop celebrating it so that the pain will stop pouring in as well? Or maybe we come to realize that bdays aren't that distinctly significant that it's just a basis of measurement of how long we have inhabited this earth? Truth be told I haven't figured out yet the personal significance of bdays...

Well since I started this entry on such a positive note, I dont want to end it on a sour note... Christmas is after all because of Christ, although not really his bday... I guess I particulary like Christmas because it's not a celebration that just involves one person, it's somewhat a contagious thing how everyone suddenly seems nicer, in a more positive mood, more giving and I especially love the Christmas carols...

Bad vibes

2008-08-29T10:32:00.000+08:00

bad vibes talaga yung rockwell urban bazaar... kasi 1. the swimsuit.... tapos 2. the black multiway dress na sabi nila ang colors lang ay black, electric pink, electric blue tapos nagpunta pa ako sa store to check ha as in sabi naman sa store black, grey, purple lang daw meron... so as in ok na ako kasi as in i really made sure... sabi ko talaga i'll die if merong red ha... (kasi diba i can't really wear black to weddings, anniversaries, bdays and other occassions where my grandparents are present) tapos guess what this wed meron ngang nakita yung sister ko na red dress!!!!!! eh tapos sabi bawal na raw iexchange dahil more than a week na! as in super argh! kasi wala namang red before noh!!!! ay nako! buti nalang zelina's friend is going to buy the black dress from me so i can buy the red dress na! yay!

Dude/ Man/ Pare

2008-08-29T07:19:00.000+08:00

natatawa ako kasi naririnig ko yung katapat kong cubicle may kausap siya and its super peppered with "pare".... as in he says pare every few seconds.. naaalala ko tuloy si ramon and rex (former officemates in ING)... Isn't it funny how some people say "dude"/ "man"/ "pare" all the time? hahaha napag-usapan namin na ang pare parang medyo mas masa... then dude/ man may pagkaslang na sosyal... meron ring asa gitna na minsan dude minsan pare na "dude-pare" hahaha.... ang naaalala ko lang na parating nag-ddude si robelle... kahit girl kami kapag magreply siya sa amin parating may "dude"... hahaha sabagay some people use "mare"/ "girl" often rin naman.... well its mostly the older women that use "mare" a lot... hahahaha

Note to self

2008-08-22T14:46:00.000+08:00

feeling ko feeling ng receptionist namin dito sa office wala na akong ginawa kung hindi kumain... kasi mga 3 beses na ako lumabas pasok at parati akong may hawak na bag ng pagkain... at kadalasan tuwing lalabas naman ako ay dahil nga bibili ako ng pagkain... haha....fine ang takaw ko! okay my mouth is really that busy that when I'm not yapping away or laughing I need to eat something... I tend to munch on everything in sight talaga... (maybe gum will work... less calories and makes you feel really full) really need to exercise more and eat less...

okay very important note to self: exercise more, eat less....

I'm watching Sex and the City and on this episode Carrie's laptop crashed, it reminded me when my cellphone died... It was devastating! I hope it wont happen to my laptop though... it would just kill me... though most of my files are backed up... I know these are things that don't have life... but you just can't help but get attached to it because you sort of use it as an accessory to release some things...

I'm just extra angsty today... maybe because of the weather....

2008-08-20T08:13:00.000+08:00

Can I just say I super hate kaspersky anti-virus... kasi starting nung ininstall siya sa pc ko here in the office it became super bagal na as in exaj! even slower than the pagong! I know I'm impatient pero helllo! it takes me 2 hrs to be able to sign in to ym! parang hello?! are you kidding me?! I mean if I were to use it at home... as in wala na, ishshut down ko na siguro ang pc ko hindi pa ako naka-sign in... i super hate talaga... if only i can remove this thing.... I super hate it!!!!!! as in it's super hell talaga!

To top it off the paint doesnt work pa! eh i need it right now eh... argh! this is soo frustrating... I feel like I have to do something but it's as if my hands are tied behind my back!

Well it could also be because our pcs here in the office is also bulok... I swear it is... I'm just too tamad to lug around my laptop kasi it's a hassle to bring it here.... argh im so frustrated already... I've been trying to log in for almost 3 hrs already....

and another nakakainis thing... kasi kanina while i was supposed to log in there was this ate in fron of me na nagllog in tapso ayaw magregister nung fingerprint niya eh it was already like 9:15:45 or something na and a couple of seconds nalang I'm late na tapos ayun too late na nung naka-log in siya kasi pag-log in ko 9:16:01 na! grrrr that means i have to stay 30 mins longer!!!! argh!!!!!!!!!!!

Hay nako tapos the weather pa is perfect... for sleeping! it's the perfect weather if you would just lie down in bed and sleep in the whole day....

Grrr im just so irritated!!! kasi it seems everything I need isn't working... as in I'm really really annoyed! kaya I'm trying to download adobe photoshop pa right now.... argh....

Frustrating bazaar experience... argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-08-17T19:52:00.000+08:00

Ok im just gonna vent out my frustration ha... as in argh... super argh talaga ito!! I just have to rant... I would probably still be ranting about it tom and the days after.... I so hate this... kasi we went to the Rockwell Urban Bazaar tapos I tried on several bikinis tapos I ended up buying this colorful string bikini.... so on our way out of that stall I told my sister "o try mo yun o, maganda yun" tapos nung triny niya tapos d triny ko narin... I so loved it! eh my sister was really sold on it na she wanted to buy it for herself na... tapos I wanted to buy one just like it or just exchange the one I just bought, tapos sabi nung sales lady last piece na raw yun!! Grrr! at that point you can pretty much tell I was already kicking myself for pointing it out to her before trying it on myself... argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as in argh!!!!!!!!! I sooooo hate myself talaga!!!!!!!!!

I also bought this dress na multiway black dress... I loved this dress because essentially backless siya... and it's very versatile... if only this was in red I would have to buy any other red dress for like forever!!!!!!!! haha

actually namahalan ako sa bazaar... parang lahat ng binebenta dun mahal talaga.... as in 2 lang binili ko ha tapos I'm super broke na! buti nalang binigyan kami ng konting pangshopping ni ama before we left kung hindi hindi ko na nabili yung multiway dress ko! as in feeling ko mas broke pa ako than just going to the mall to shop... pero oh well parati namang mas expensive yung asa rockwell na bazaar... pero alam mo yun parang when you go to a bazaaar you're supposed to come out happy because you got something at a steal pero now talaga hindi kasi I felt that everything was so much more expensive... kasi normally when i come out of a bazaar even if I spend a couple of thousand, ok lang kasi feeling ko ang dami kong nabili na steal... pero now hindi talaga... or maybe it's just the bikini....There's a lot of good stuff talaga in the bazaar... as in almost all the stalls had quality products hindi yung makikita mo lang sa divisoria type ganun... pero it's super expensive talaga...

Wah I really want that bikini!... I think I might just be desperate enough to think of offering to buy it from my sister... I will try!!!!! low probability of success though! argh!!!!

Name Game

2008-08-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

RULE:

List ALL the names you were called and the people/person who called you that. Tag at least 5 members of your contacts and give a comment on their site for them to know they've been tagged.

Abby well in general lahat ng tao ito yung tinatawag sa akin until it takes a spin of its own
Abby Wu well dahil dalawa kaming Abby/ Abi nung hs kaya kailangan merong surname pagtatawagin kami
Abu ito para sa mga hs classmates ko na tinamad pa sa Abby Wu kaya shinorten pa nila furhter... si cath cheung atsaka sila robelle....
Donya Kikay nung bata palang ako kikay na ako... sa mga damit at mga laruan... I was always the girly girl kaya my aunts would call me donya kikay...
bbwu sa mga college friends na tandang tanda talaga ang email ko..
Abs sa mga nahahabaan pa sa Abby pina-ikli pa nila at ginawang Abs nalang... in general ang tumatawag lang sa akin niyan si Wannah and mga cousins ko
Abigail Anne yung sa mga formal formal na setting tulad ng mga interviews and the like
Gail Dati nung bata ako mas prefer ko ang gail
Anne para sa mga guy friends kong niloloko ako dahil alam nila ayoko ng tinatawag akong Anne kasi it seems too mahinhin for me... haha

Off Balance....

2008-08-12T11:28:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I'm just having a bad day ngayon kaya ako mabilis mainis at maging emotional... Mabilis lang talaga ako mathrown off balance... I hate when things get messed up at hindi ko nagagawa what I've set my mind to... Naiirita talaga ako kasi it sort of throws me off eh kasi ganun ako when I put my mind to something na, kailangan magawa yun... asin nagkagulo gulo na yung schedule....

Tapos argh naiinis pa ako kanina sa meeting... grr kasi ayaw makinig tapos ano ano pa ang kailangan hingin... grrr....

Nawalan tuloy ako ng gana kumain nung lunch kasi na-upset na ako... this really isnt such a good day...

The other side

2008-08-10T20:26:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was discussing a certain situation with a friend that was very similar to mine a couple of months ago... that conversation allowed me to see the other side... the "good" reason for the lies (though still not excusable, this is a good example of "THINK BEFORE YOU ACT")... but not why he cheated... cheating is his problem na... I guess it also made me realize that the reason why it is so hard for me to forgive was not the lies he told in order to break up or the cheating... it was yung pangbabastos na ginawa niya after that eh... I mean things would've been much easier to let go... and easier to forgive if he had been a perfect gentleman and just shut up... but instead he told all those lies and got angry at me because everything that I was saying was contradicting all his lies... As in I felt like binabaligtad ako... yung mga kabastosan na sinabi niya afterwards yung mga things na hindi ko mapatawad... those are things na I never thought i would hear from someone I considered a part of my life... as in feeling ko if I was in front of him I would've hit him really really hard... he deserves that... I still intend on doing it if and when I see him... I owe myself that dahil sa kabastusan niya...

I have been accussed na hasn't the Bible taught me to forgive... true, we've been taught to forgive time and again, I never ever thought I would ever encounter a person I could never forgive until I met him... (I mean generally I know I can hold grudges against a person pero alam ko dumarating rin ang araw na nabubura yun) he made me realize how difficult it is to forgive... and at the same time that made me appreciate how forgiveness is not all that simple as is said in the Bible... I think what's particularly hard is that there is that I haven't seen a sincere repentance in him that's why it's doubly hard to forgive... yung sincere na sorry pa nga lang hindi na eh... alam mo yung sorry na for the heck of it lang at sorry na grabe lumalabas sa ilong... and the second part of being sorry... the part wherein you make things right and you own up to the mistakes you made...

ok I just had to let things out... sige ok na ako... I'm feeling more calm now...

Home alone...

2008-08-09T17:24:00.000+08:00

Somehow I find myself stuck, home alone today... because I just came down with a flu and a sore throat this morning and my siblings have a dinner appointment somewhere... miraculously I feel better now than I did a couple of hours before... makes me think I should have just joined them so I won't be awfully bored at home... I guess I'll be stuck with my grey's anatmy marathon...

Do you ever wonder if there's somebody out there who completely understands you? like someone who just knows your soul.... who seems to mirror your mind... who thinks like you... who doesnt think that you think too much or that you're too sensitive or you're too dramatic or you're too picky or too fussy... do you think there's someone like that? who can finish your sentences... who understands your state of mind... who can understand the shifts in your moood... well someone who accepts you just as you are and thinks that you're great just as you are... Just wondering if such a person exists...

Walk in adventure

2008-08-08T17:22:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm such a bad driver today... as in it took me lightyears to park sa may national sa q ave tapos sa ba... as in feeling ko hazard ako sa kalye! hahaha

anyway this is supposed to be my adventure kahapon with dustin sa aming walk ins... so far as of today meron na akong 2 exams and 1 interview all scheduled on tues, well hindi ko pa alam kung alin dun talaga yung pupuntahan ko... one of them is Chinabank... bilang sabi ni dustin for fun lang ang application namin dun, d pasok naman kami at nag-pass kami, sabi pa namin wala naman sigurong interview noh... tapos nung pagpass sa amin sabi niya upo lang daw kami until tawagin ang pangalan namin... so kami nagtinginan kami na parang huh?! hindi kami ready kung may interview or exam or whatever... so tumakbo kaming dalawa palabas nung pagtalikod nung babae tapos nung pababa na kami sa mabagal nilang elevator sabi pa namin ng pajoke... "hala baka habulin tayo" tapos nung pagdating namin sa guard at isusurender na namin yung visitor's pass namin para makuha ID namin, tinanong kami kung ano pangalan namin at surprisingly hindi binalik ang ID namin! sabi sa amin "balik daw kayo sa taas" kaya tawa kami ng tawa kasi sort of nagkatotoo ngang nahabol kami afterall! hahaha akalain mo bang magkakaroon kami ng ganung adventure! pero in fairness ang saya!!!!!! hahahahaha

reflections... reflections...

2008-08-03T13:51:00.000+08:00

Kahapon nag-bacbacan ako... once again I am reminded how things were so much different a yr back... so much different... partly rin because bacbacan reminded me of a lot of things... a lot of people.... a part of me was happy to be there, but part of me was kicking myself because of all the memories that started pouring in... and somehow naisip ko rin na in just a few yrs hindi narin ako siguro parating pupunta kasi magiging less relevant na sa akin ang bacbacan dahil nauubos na ang taong mga kilala ko... I think it's sort of the thing that the less people you know parang the more irrelevant that circle becomes to you because it seems as though you tend to move out that circle as you jump into a new circle... I mean naaappreciate ko naman yung mga bagong jpia members ngayon na nag hihi ate kapag nakikita ako pero siguro I can attribute it to my bad memory rin kaya hindi ko natatandaan lahat ng napapakilala sa akin...but let's leave things at that... natuwa rin ako to be there kasi ang galing naman ng seniors at ang galing talaga ng effort ng terminals... nakakatuwa silang tingnan na napakasupportive talaga nila sa isa't isa...

this is really weird my parents, particularly my mom is so much more into UAAP basketball than we are.... haha parang sila ang parating nanunuod...

natutuwa ako sa dreams ko, hindi naman in particular sa dream, kasi natatawa ako na napaka-detail oriented ng dream ko at least yung natatandaan ko... as in naalala ko yung outfits, yung cut, details, colors, print... as in yung mga outfits na kaya ko isketch or imodify pagkagising ko... sabi nga ni addie napaka-detail oriented ko lalo na sa outfits.... pwede kaya akong maging designer?? hindi lang nga ako marunong magtahi talaga.... as in running stitch lang ang alam ko... maybe sa susunod pwede ko rin yung isama sa mga gagawin ko...

Argh I missed FP launch!!!!!!!!!

2008-07-31T17:45:00.000+08:00

hay nako! I missed the FP launch today and for what??! sitting around all day???! that's totally not cool!!!!!!!! as in kasi lumipat ako ng pwesto tapos iseset up narin ulit ang PC ko diba, guess what?? maikli ang power cord at kailangan ng extension at pagkatapos ng ilang oras ng pagtatawag sa ETPI (aka yung mukhang sunog na bldg sa may buendia), sinabi sa akin magpabili nalang ako kay kuya someone... eh kaya lang sabi ni kuya someone umuulan pa kasi kaya hindi pa raw siya makabili kaya ayun buong hapon lang ako tumunganga!!!!! sana pumunta nalang ako ng FP kasi wah!!!!!!! andun si Fantasma!!!! kasi nagperform sila kasi kasali sila (Escola Brasileira de Capoeira) sa FP.... *****awww reminiscing our comedy royale days with my FPmates!!!!!!!********* ugh!!!!! see as in sana nagpunta nalang akong launch kung alam ko lang talagang tutunganga lang ako buong araw diba???! argh argh argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Am I a Homebody??

2008-07-30T20:19:00.000+08:00

I'm beginning to think I'm a homebody... I know some of you would think that this is really ridiculous because I'm the last person you think about when you say homebody... hahaha but really... I mostly go out with my family lang... and it just so happened my family loves to shop (as in we go shopping with my aunts and cousins in tow... what can I say? It's our bonding activity!) and eat... other than that I don't really go out much... apart from occasional saturday lunch or dinner with my girls of course... even in school I never really recalled going out that much na as in lakwatsa... my only "party" thing are the org events which I primarily attend because of my orgs... I think my siblings go out more pa nga than I do... they sometimes go to the mall to watch a movie after class... I was always the school-bahay type lang... if I would go out it would be limited to saturdays, maybe some fridays too but that's it... I don't know why i just don't like going out much esp kapag after work kasi feeling ko napapagod ako kapag lumabas pa ako... and nahahassle ako when I go home late... maybe that's why I also hated going out on dates (dati) after work! (Eureka!!!!!!!! that's the answer!) hahahahahahahahaha... I guess I just find staying at home comforting... oh no?! am i going to be a manang na??! nah, i still think I'm too vain to be a manang! hahahahaha...

Green or black

2008-07-28T08:57:00.000+08:00

Please help me choose kasi ganito yan...

yung green well naiibang color siya, tapos maganda yung embroidery, pero feeling ko nakakataba atsaka hindi masyadong nacocomplement yung color ko....

yung black, well it's black... according to my sister mas gusto daw niya kasi mas bold yung design and well parang mas hindi nakakataba

nakakatuwang experience lang

2008-07-27T18:45:00.000+08:00

Tonight for dinner we went to gloria maris tapos nakakatawa yung waiter namin as in marunong na siya magchinese at marunong sobra sumipsip! as in he would ask us what we want to drink - in chinese! and kasi may order kaming matagal tapos sabi niya kasi masarap daw yun, sabi niya kapag bo ho chia, bo pala (pag hindi daw masarap, walang bayad)... haha and libreng dessert hahaha sobrang loko loko yung waiter namin... hahaha at kasi nakikita niya si papa nagpipiga ng kalamansi in his tea tapos he gave him a cup ng calamansi na nakapiga na para hindi na raw magpiga... natatawa lang ako kasi napaka-observant niya sa customer niya kaya siya natututo ng mga ganun... he would be a good marketer or salesman....

anyways, grabe Gloria Maris has a great business in their hands, it's super punong puno talaga... aside from hotels, Gloria Maris is one of the best Chinese restaurants in town, thus we have been having most of our family celebrations in Gloria Maris for the past 10 yrs at the very least....

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for someone na tinatamad magshop in fairness marami akong nabili ngayon pero tinatamad parin ako magshop, sana magically mag-appear nalang yung mga gusto kong clothes sa closet ko one day... hahaha

kanina may dress akong trinatry nahirapan tuloy akong pumili kung yung green or black yung pipiliin ko.... paging kath! help me!!!!

Cooking shows...

2008-07-26T17:27:00.000+08:00

I really love to watch cooking shows... It's boring for most people, but I just find it interesting... it just makes my mouth water... haha I've been watching cooking shows since I can remember... One of the cooking shows that never fails to make my mouth water is Ina Garten of Barefood Contessa... she just makes the richest dishes with loads of butta and cream... she just never seems to make anything low fat... haha maybe that's why it makes my mouth water.... hahaha because if I had my way I would try to make everything low fat... I'm calorie conscious... haha but i can't deny I love love love rich foods... it's something to live for... there's just something satisfying about it...

Can't you just tell that I love food so much?! It's one of my lifelong love affairs it's my type of adventure... I think a career in the culinary arts wouldn't be too shabby for me... haha

I also love Ina garten's house by the beach... I would love to have a house like that, just a white house by the beach with a nice porch that leads down to the beach and a wonderful kitchen...

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anyway totally an unrelated topic... I think I'm sick or something kasi tinatamad na akong magshop... hahaha or is it just because it's already the rainy season... I just miss the summer... I love the bright colored tops and the pastels of the summer...

The Value of UP Experience

2008-07-23T08:00:00.000+08:00

First published 6 June 2008

The Manila Standard Today,

INTEGRATIONS

Maya Baltazar Herrera

Voyage

The value of the UP Experience

There are no children here

This week, I went to a meeting at the UP School of Economics and I came away with renewed belief in the value of the UP experience. If you speak to anyone from UP - student, professor, alumnus - you will get no Latin slogans or apologies about how the school teaches values in spite of its outward materialism. This is not a student population that thinks about basketball games or memorizes school songs. This is not a school that chooses one statement to drill into the minds of its students.

This is not, of course, to say that UP does not care about values. It is that UP, in its own inimitable way, believes that values cannot be force-fed. The statue of the naked man that guards the entrance to the campus in Diliman best represents UP's approach to all education and the respect for students that is the center of its educational philosophy. All who come to this university, regardless of origin, bring themselves naked, carrying nothing but their thirst; like the proverbial empty teacup, making an offering of self, waiting to be filled.

Adults

For many students from private schools, the first lesson that is learned here is that this is a school for adult education. There are no children here, and that is why no parents are allowed either at freshman orientation or during enlistment.

The spirit of the oblation lies not in a mother or a father offering up his child to the world, it is that of the newly adult, freely

offering of his self. I remember quite vividly that moment that drove home how different the P education continues to be. It was my daughter's first semester in university and she had invited a group of her high school friends to our house. One of them asked a classmate whether she had gotten her parents permission form approved for that weekend's outreach activity. From the UP population around the table came the mock horrified responses of: "Permission? " and "Outreach?" I thought about it and realized that all of these students were, in fact, legally adults. I thought it interesting that only the UP students appeared to appreciate this fact.

Even more interesting was the "outreach" comment. I think back to my own university years and the last three years that my daughter has been in UP and am certain there is no lack of civic activity. There are medical missions, house building projects, tree planting, community work and barrio work and so on. I realize now that the reaction was not to the activity as much as it was to the use of the word.

One of the most important differences of the UP campus from all the other campuses my children considered going to is that this campus has no walls. Many parents fear this. They are afraid their precious children will not be protected from the ills of society in a campus that is so open to the rest of the world. But UP is open to the world in more ways than just not having the physical walls.

Community

Being in UP means much more than being a student. This campus is enmeshed in a community. This community is made up not only of the transient population of students who go home each night. It includes the many, many students who lay their heads on dorm pillows each night, enduring time away from families in the firm belief that this campus will bring them closer to their dreams. This community includes the families of faculty and employees who live on campus. It also includes the many people who work not for the University, but nevertheless work on campus. This community includes the lady who remembers the brand of cigarette you smoke and automatically hands it to you in the morning. It includes the gentleman who remembers you

like pepper on your egg sandwich or the one who knows you will dip your fishballs into two of his sauces, who patiently waits for you to eat your three sticks before being paid. It includes the woman who saw all her children through college by selling peanuts every day on campus.

To a UP student, the daily heartbeat of the school is never far away from the realities of the country. The word outreach suggests that civic activity is something outside of the normal, something you do once in a while. It must be immensely difficult to think of community as a thing apart when your campus experience brings you face to face with all of the world's realities every day.

Character

All of this probably explains that unmistakable sense of self that you will find from students who come from this campus.

Here is a campus where all have the same opportunities to learn. But also, here is a campus that will give all the same opportunities to fail. There are no guidance counselors who will chase after you because you have been skipping classes. The attitude this university takes is that you must take the initiative - for learning, for seeking help, for realizing you need help.

That is not to say that no help exists. But it is help that is not forced upon you.

This is a university rich in both introspection and conversation. On this campus, the student is constantly exposed to people - faculty, administrators, community members, other students - who care deeply and passionately about the world. The conversations are almost never purely cerebral. A single graph can provoke comments about government policy and its effects on people.

As a result, UP is home to a student population that looks at the world and cares. It is easy to see pictures of protesting students and dismiss it as radicalism. But there are few campuses in this country where students go beyond a passing curiosity about what is happening in the world beyond their own lives. There are even fewer universities where students not only care but also actually believe they have a responsibility to make a difference - not in some hazy future - today.

And that, I believe, is what truly forges character. Character is not molded by speeches or long classes in ethics or theology.

Character grows from within. It begins by being handed the keys to your own self and being told you are in charge; you now have power over yourself and your own actions - and with that power, you take on responsibilities.

Each student in this university goes through his own unique voyage of discovery. On his voyage, as he decides what he cares about, what he will fight for and what he will sacrifice, he crafts his own personal values. That is what education is truly about.

What not to miss in Chinatown

2008-07-23T07:50:00.000+08:00

Awhile ago I was in the car listening to the radio, their topic was Chinese food in binondo!!!!!! haha nakakagutom.... I think most chinese restaurants in binondo have been there since way before you were born like your parents' childhood or way back.... I think Chinatown is somewhat dear to my heart because of the gastronomic delights it offers... these restaurants are practically part of their daily routines you know where the angkongs and amas meet their friends for lunch or tea... I mean imagine my dad, before "Ying Ying" (part of the "President" group of restos) opened which is just right across their office, he used to eat at Sincerity everyday for lunch, that's 5 days a week at the same place! well he never seem to have gotten bored with it because he's been eating there for lunch every work day probably for the last 10 yrs at the very least! Along with all the angkongs and the amas who are also regulars... now he alternates between Ying Ying and Sincerity.

My must visit places whenever I go to Chinatown are:

Sincerity for the Fried Chicken, I swear it's really good... and the kikiam and the oyster cake and oh yeah the crab rice! (my dad always orders crab rice when I'm with him)
This Taiwanese store that sells the red bean soup, bird's nest, motchi and other kinds of chinese pastry such as geen tea motchi, lotus paste motchi, red bean motchi....
Diao Eng Chai for the pies, as previously mentioned, also you can visit this for all sorts of traditional chinese food, tikoy, ang pao, soy bean milk, sio mai..... they also have a store in greenhills
Shin Tong Yong for it's taho... I like Chinese taho not particularly because of the soybean but because of the peanuts, instead of sago, they put in soft boiled peanuts... and it's yummy!!!!!! (you might also want to grab a couple of bags of ma-hu, dried shreded pork or beef for lugaws)

Other treats in binondo would be:

Tasty Dumpling House as in really cheap for really great food. For around maybe P75 you already have a full meal! (silver roll with the humba is the best!!! as in fried to a crisp yung roll and the insides are a bit sweet and when you put the humba sauce on it, it jus seeps it in) they also have branches in banawe and Wilson St. in greenhills
Holland or Polland for the hopia (Somehow I never really remembered tasting hopia ever before, but I'm just not attracted to the crumby looking crust. One thing I also eat but never really look for is tikoy... I don't know why though, I like the ones with the peanut filling at Diao eng chai though)
Masuki for the siopao (One thing that I'm also not really fond of... well except for the pao itself which is the bread, I like the sweet taste of the bread... but I like the pao better filled with Lin Yong, which is lotus paste... usually given during birthdays), my aunt always buys siopao for my cousin here.

What if....

2008-07-22T07:10:00.000+08:00

You know when your head is just suddenyl filled with what ifs? It's one of those things that just pops up in your head randomly.....

I guess one of the biggest what ifs that I fear is... What if my life didn't turn out the way I wanted? What if it comes out a disaster? What if it's not the peaceful life I've always wanted? I know that life will always come up with something that will throw us off... but guess that's the control freak in me to try to keep things as close to the goal as possible...

Sometimes those questions are just lingering in your head... thus I sometimes want to fast forward things just to take a peek if I end up okay... I don't know it just sometimes makes me anxious... it makes me want to rush things... I'm the type of person kasi (eversince hs pa ito) na even if a certain phase of my life is not yet over, i want to rush over and worry about the next phase because I get too worried na what if it doesn't turn out alright? Maybe that's why I feel like just as I reach the next phase I'm quickly over it because I'm hurrying to get on to the next... anyway those are just some of my big what ifs in life....

_____________________________________________________________________________

anyway this is just chismis stuff na... It's going to be Jay Leno's last yr on TV na! after that Conan O'Brien will replace him as the host of The Tonight Show na.... awww.... I super like Jay Leno's brand of comedy because it really makes sense and it's so effortless... the way he tells jokes alam mo yung he doesnt need to anticipate if the audience will crack up... my family really realy loves Jay Leno so much more than Conan, kasi parang si Conan his jokes are sometimes more green and parang sometimes super makikita mo yugn effort to make people laugh eh... I know some people like C'onan more because he uses more non sense stuff to make people laugh and you don't have to be updated with the current events to get his jokes... but I really love comedians who don't need to use green jokes to make people laugh, i love those who are able to make witty banters from whatever topic... I love how jay Leno is able to use current events to make people laugh, things like politics, economy, showbiz.... It somehow makes his jokes seamless....

Mouthwatering Pies

2008-07-17T11:55:00.000+08:00

Yay! i just saw a sign of Mom's and Tina's opening near enterprise, I've been wanting to try this place because of its pies... hahaha...I just love savory pies! can't get enough of them, but sadly there's just a couple of places that sells those pies...

Well one of them is Diao Eng Chai, they have a couple of good ones, like the chicken a la king or mushroom ala king.... I always manage to buy one of those whenever I'm in Ongpin.

Bag of beans also sells pies, so far i've only tried the steak and mushroom pie, the other variants are still frozen in our freezer, the filling is good but my complaint about this is that the crust is just too thick...

I've been wanting to want to make my own pie, but 1st I have to tackle the filling... somehow I just can't get the right creamy consistency yet... maybe I should just follow the recipe... haha the way i cook is just toss in everything i could find in the ref that I think matches with the dish I have in mind, then poof! there comes the finished product! haha now i bet if I offer any one of you one of my creations you won't even bother to touch it, well my moms seems to be able to stomach my cooking, then she tells me your pasta is over cooked (i'm not a fan of the al dente pasta, somehow i just like them soft and chewy...), don't worry I'm just a bad cook, i tend to experiment less when it comes to baking, because it's harder to salvage and the ingredients are sayang if i make my crazy experiments....

My friend and I were just talking about pies when coincidentally one of my favorite food blogs featured this pie craze... anyway you can just refer to this site for more info... http://dessertcomesfirst.com/?p=837 I'll probably force my family to try this one of these days....

obviously i'm bored again

2008-07-15T08:38:00.000+08:00

Your Personality at 35,000 Says...

Deep down, you prefer spending time alone to spending time with others. You enjoy thinking more than talking.

You are not too sure what your place in the world is yet. You often feel invisible in a crowd.

Your gift is relating to other people. You don't hide from your own emotions, and you are good at drawing other people out.

You are inspired by what is possible. Real life is often too ordinary for you.

You are happy as long as you are given some personal space. It's important for you to have your own private life.

I think of all the tests i've taken i think this one (The Personality Test at 35,000 Feet) describes me the best.

You Are Mustard

Your personality is strong and distinctive. You are beyond quirky.
You can stand alone in the world well. You are a strong individual.
You sometimes work well with others, as long as there aren't any other strong personalities involved.

Your taste in food tends to be simple yet high quality.
You can really get into a perfectly prepared sandwich or simple fresh salad.
You get along best with ketchup and barbeque sauce personalities. Get you with a salsa personality, and things might become downright nasty!

What Condiment Are You?

You Were Born Under:

Fierce and courageous - you are the king of every situation.
You pounce and attack, until others give you want you want.
Daring and magnetic, you inspire others to follow your lead.
And while you're wild at heart, you have some hidden soft spots.

You are most compatible with a Horse or Dog.

What Year Were You Born Under?

What Your These Fireworks Say About You

You are deeply passionate about a few things in your life.
Everything else, you couldn't care less about.

Your passions tend to hold steady over time. If anything, they intensify.
Once you hold on to something (or someone), you don't let go!

The Fireworks Test

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally.

Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life!

You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police

Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

The Simpsons Personality Test

okay, fine enough na.... I'm really really sleepy na....

who are your friends?

2008-07-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

I was watching "The Devil Wears Prada" yesterday, I don't know why or what hit me but it really made me think if I know who my real friends are... friends who just know me inside out, those who know what makes me tick, those who can just pull me aside and set me straight when im goign astray... I know my best friends can do that...

so napaisip lang ako so does it mean that those people who betrayed you whom you thought were your friends ibig sabihin hindi ka talaga nila kinilala as a friend in the first place? kasi they didnt care that they would hurt you or they dont know you enough to know what would hurt you....ako i think that my closest friends are those that understand what's going on in my heart, those whom i can share my vulnerabilites with, those na i trust na wouldn't take advantage of my vulnerabilities to hurt me.... i dont think picky ako sa friends in general but those na kinekwentohan ko about my inner most thoughts those are the people i dont expect to betray me... so what if they did? what does it mean?

A few yrs back I had this friend, well it started out as a hi hello kamusta ka na how was your day friend... being one of those few people that I know that sleep past 12 midnight (I used to sleep at around 2am, I still do kapag walang pasok) we got around to talking about life, doubts, dreams... whatever that may trouble me during that time (most of my emo moments come at night eh.... tapos puro tulog na friends ko...) and believe me im the type who shares a lot kasi madaldal ako atsaka feeling ko kapag asa environment akong comfortable ako, super trusting ako.... then sometime last yr something happened and i felt like it was the worst and most painful betrayal i've ever experienced in my life... because of that I learned who my true friends are.... yun so napaisip lang ako na ano ibig sabihin nun? does it mean na that person wasn't really a friend because he/ she never really cared...

I really need something else to do....

2008-07-10T08:37:00.000+08:00

I really should enroll in something else na... kasi nabobore na ako ulit i miss the back to back meetings and being involved in totally different activities.... im just weird in that way that i just cant sit still and do just one thing... i like having the freedom to do a bunch of different things... i dont like having time constraints na nasasayang lang....

I'm thinking maybe i could enroll in a short course during saturdays for the basics of culinary arts at iscahm and then have boxing in the afternoon then i'm still free for dinner or gimiks at night.... basta i want to enroll in something artsy like culinary or pottery... feeling ko talaga may case ako ng adhd! I just can't sit still and do one thing lang for the entire day... kahit sa internet ngayon nabobore na ako kasi feeling ko wala na akong magawa!!!!!!! suggestions anyone???

weird day...

2008-07-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

my legs really really hurt right now as a result of the boxing... i thought so... i knew those lunges were a killer... i can barely walk today! kahapon i can walk well pa naman and drive parin... pero ngayon i can barely walk! kaya kahit na super late na ako... I resisted the urge to run up the escalator because it just hurts!!!!!!!! but it's the masakit na good masakit because it really means your body got a good exercise....

I'm sooo bored na today as in mega bored... i feel as though mas may naaccomplish pa ako kapag wala ako sa office...

anyway this is really weird yung officemate ko sa katabi kong cubicle kasi pinakita niya sa akin yung ex niya (guy yung katabi ko) inopen niya yung album meron dun nakanude yung ex niya! parang hello! i dont know why people take pictures in the nude! and kung ex mo na yun why dont you delete it already diba!!!

New Stuff!

2008-07-07T18:47:00.000+08:00

I did a couple of new things today!

i finally went boxing! at ang sakit na ng katawan ko as in abs, thighs, and calves... as in feeling ko lahat na-exercise today... gusto ko yung isstretch ka ng trainer at massage sa end... as in kapag gumagalaw ako ng mabilis masakit talaga kaya lang naisip ko hindi ko 'to pwede gawin more than twice a week kasi masisira yung kamay ko.... haha yung kamay ko kasi yung favorite part ko ng body ko...kaya bawal masira... haha so ayan ang saturday mornings ko ayan boxing na yan...

i played bingo ngayon! haha part of research... nabore ako kasi puro mga lolo at lola yung naglaro.... at nagobserve rin ng mga taong bumibili ng lotto...

at since yung gma pinuntahan ko asa mall diba, naweirdan ako kasi here we are wherein inflation is high, gas prices are soaring, income is not necessarily rising pero ang dami dami dami daming tao asa mall and it's monday!!!!!!!!! are we just mall rats by nature? or do we have nowhere else to go to??

and kamusta yung winork out ko kinain ko rin tonight... as in ang dami ko ng kinain sa house blessing ng aunt ko, ang dami pang pauwi! haha umaapaw na ang ref namin ng cake at mga ulam!

Pros vs cons

2008-07-02T13:39:00.000+08:00

Pros vs Cons of AA

Pros

well for one maganda ang job description at position
intl siya
marketing and sales siya
i think better environment than now
possible na gateway for other opportunities
feeling ko maggrow ako professionally kasi may maaccomplish akong tunay at may mentor na
well mapipilitan akong maging independent
as maila said lots of shopping
new country new cultures, new adventures
mura ang beauty products dun
at maraming cosmetic surgery clinics! hahahaha

Cons

well mapipilitan akong maging independent (no driver, no one to do the laundry and ironing,hindi ako marunong maglaba, magplantsa... marunong ako magluto though... ng pasta lang)
hindi naman mataas ang sweldo, well yung massave ko not compelling enough
ang layo ko sa family and friends ko
mamimiss ko ang 18th bday ng sister ko, 50th ng dad ko, 75th ng lolo ko and hindi ako dito magbbirthday... no ang pao from angkong, ama and no allowances from ama....thus mababawasan nanaman ang income ko...
hindi naman asa bangkok mismo yung office eh mga 30 to 40 mins away rin siya
hindi lahat ng tao sa thailand marunong mag-english kaya nakakatakot maging tanga at mawala....
hindi ko na kasama magshshop ang kapatid ko

as of now 55% no ako... but hindi ko parin maturn down

Decisions, decisions, decisions

2008-07-01T17:16:00.000+08:00

naiinis ako sa driver namin... kasi naman ang tanga!!!!!! as in ilang weeks na niya hinahatid mga kapatid ko to school hindi paren niya alam kung saan yung mga places!!!!! as in iritang irita na yung kapatid ko sa kanya kaya super motivated narin siyang matuto na magdrive at magdrive mag-isa para mafire na namin yugn driver... kasi pati Q ave diba parang hindi niya alam! hay....

anyways after ko magconsult sa stat tumambay narin ako...namimiss ko na talaga ang UP, mga tao at ang shorts.... at pinabili ako ng 11 na commemorative na P100 peso notes ng nanay ko at yung mga stamps narin... (super mas worth it ang stamps, I swear! mga 100x more worth it!) meron rin kami ng plate number na commemorative... bilang nangongolecta kami ng centennial staff at ipapamana ng nanay ko sa mga apo niya or something! hahaha joke lang! pero sayang hindi ako nakabili ng jacket!!!! kasi pagdating namin dun ubos na!!! kaasar!

may dilemma ako.... yung aa offer, hindi parin ako makapagdecide eh... hay....naisip ko nga papano yan, papano ako titira mag-isa eh hindi naman ako marunong maglaba, magplantsa, sino magpplantsa ng mga damit ko?

The Girls of Riyadh

2008-06-30T08:11:00.000+08:00

arggh na-erase yung sinulat ko... anyway...

I'm not the type of person who usually has a book in tow... I usually just pick up whatever's in the house... I rarely rarely buy books myself kasi minsan kapag nabore ako I just leave it... anyways so a week ago I bought a book titled The Girls of Riyadh... I almost forgot nga na kakabili ko lang ng book so I only picked it up nung sat night and finished it yesterday (ngayong umaga actually) kaya I am now bangag and super sleepy as my habit of reading usually starts at 12 MN and ends at around 3 or 4 in the morning....

On to the book, the book is sort of sex and the City-ish but the setting here is in Riyadh thus there is very little sex as they are also much younger... It actually documents how these 4 girls learn about love, life, marriage, realtionships, their own culture as they grow up...

As I was reading I noticed the similarities of their culture to the chinese culture...wherein men are considered the superior race (maybe it is becoming less nowadays, but still as with my grand parents it still is), whatever they decide on is the law... wherein you do or do not do certain things to keep face or to avoid putting your family to shame.... and wherein marriages and relationships are very much dependent on the parents' will, wherein mothers keenly investigate their son's gf and her family as do the girl's family investigates the bf's family background...

as I was discussing with a friend one time, I told her one of the things that I didn't like about chinese guys is the fact that 1. they will always be their mother's pampered and sheltered son (I know, I'm sheltered too right??! that's precisely why I don't need someone who's as sheltered as i am!!), 2. in laws are too ke-po (which often causes family feuds), 3. chinese often take supresticions too seriously... but on the other hand one of the things that my hs classmate and i discussed is that it is more practical to date chinese because 1. we probably grew up in the same culture, same lifestyle (there are just some things that you grew up with that are quite hard to explain...) 2. your relatives won't be talking crap behind your back...

anyhow there are also some universally relatable things in the book, like how some men can be passive, weak, cowards... hahaha I'm sure we can all relate to that... and how sometimes when we get hurt we come up with our own theories and philosophies and feel like we've gained wisdom from that experience, but then again the next one comes along, you love you get hurt and you feel like the wisdom you had before just shattered like a glass pane.... and you are back to square one... figuring out what's wrong with men... because back when you met the new one you thought he is soo much more different from the one before, we're more alike or he is more intelligent, or he is more charming or sophisticated,blah blah blah.... until later on when you get hurt, you realize that they were of the same skin, cowards, liars, cheaters....

One of the things that i really picked up with this book and proved my point is that real respect is oen of the highest forms of love... I believe that when you truly respect someone, it prevents you from deliberately hurting that person be it physical or emotional..... it is possible to love someone without respecting them afterall... look around you... One of the chapters in the story reminded me of my own battle.... as Sadeem and Firas fought Firas told her how other people told him that he is better off without her (well at last that finally gave sadeem the strength she needed to end everything...) It reminded me of the same predicament with one of my last fights with mans (wherein extremely hurtful words and accusations where flung here and there, that really prompted me to stand up and fightfor myself and that made me realize that it was indeed over (no friendship is ever to be formed ever again), because he simply didn't respect me... IN that sense I find respect as something that has more weight than love... I belive you would see how someone respects you with the way they treat you when they are angry... there are those that are angry and will show you that they are angry and there are those who are angry and will hurt you to let you know how unworthy you are compared to them, they will tell you things that will leave you scarred for life just to win over you... in that sense their pride is more important than the love and respect they feel for you...

I miss BA soo much na!!

2008-06-28T15:33:00.000+08:00

I had dinner kahapon with wannah and tine... although super bitin talaga kasi ang tagal na namin si tine hindi nakikita... tapos nakita pa namin sila marves, sheryl and ian, i had soooo much fun catching up with them as well, and earlier this week naglunch naman with mads and marves... I super miss my friends na!!!!!!

I super miss ba na! I super miss the ba community already, kasi as in you know almost everybody... and it's so much easier to know what's going on with your friends kasi you're all in school pa... kasi it's sooo hard to schedule gimiks now... I really really miss ba already...

I still miss school talaga, I miss that sense of belonging to a certain community... it's sort of something that I really miss at work, not to say na I don'thave friends at work, the MTs I work with are people that are really great to work with, I really really appreciate them... it's just the environment I guess... it's totally not the same... bawal maingay (hello?? you guys know me...) and I love an environment that's very energetic!! where communication lines are open and where things are not too stiff.... Maybe I'm just a kid at heart... It's really hard for me to leave something that I really love... that's me...

btw, Congrats to my best friend Tina who just topped her Social Work Board exams! As always I'm really really proud of you! *hugs*

Why is it incredibly hard for em to resist food??!

2008-06-27T14:34:00.000+08:00

That's it! I'm taking up boxing na! it burns 300-600 calories per hour!! imagine that! okay mainly I need it because I eat toooooooo much and I have a sedentary lifestyle... as in I have snacks parati and I always stand u and go to wannah who is just in the next cubicle and tell her "wannah parang gusto ko ng something sweet or salty"... she's my usual victim due to to the fact that she's the one nearest to my cubicle at magkasama kaming bumabababa para bumili ng food...I should probably start walking in UP again during weekends... hay it's so hard to diet!

May pinag-iisipan ako ngayon, I have to make a choice by next friday.... 30% of me wants it but the 70% is sort of parang no... 30% is sort of the prestige and yung sense of accomplishment na maffeel ko but the 70% is trying to be practical....

The trouble with....

2008-06-26T06:53:00.000+08:00

Hmmm naiinis ako! I can't seem to find the perfect shoe in my size!!!! And and and ang tanga tanaga ko, kasi nung sunday mango was on sale so I bought this tube top na midriff lang para i can wear it as pangloob sa mga super nipis kong white clothes and andun na yung black tube top i forgot to buy pa! now i can't find it na! now I have to go to mango and ask them to call up all the other branches to see kung meron pa! nakakainis!

okay so obviously I've been shopping too much as of late... okay that's why I'm having a hard time keeping my budget!!!!!!

anyway as I always pick up whatever magazine's lying around the house... I picked up my dad's Fortune magazine... and the article was about Steve Jobs... "The Trouble with Steve Jobs" I think we have discussed him before in marketing as he is known not to believe in market research... that's why one of the risks of apple is that it is on extremes, it can come out with a big hit or a flop... Not surprising to know that he is a big jerk... he parks his mercedes at disabled slots, he screams at his executives and board directors, he acts like he's a dictator (hmm sounds familiar... haha), he is manipulative, he will get what he wants even if he needs to violate the law or even turn the world upside down, but he's also the genius behind apple's success

Owning Up

2008-06-20T20:39:00.000+08:00

watching maalalaala mo kaya right now... never fails to make me cry... ang weird kasi bakit ako parating nakakarelate sa story... this is how it goes:

The mom called the dad in japan to tell him that she was leaving them for another man, she left the daughter thus the dad who was working in japan (na nagkaroon narin ng kabit at anak na japanese dun) came home for the daughter... tapos dinala niya yung anak niya from the japanese.... sabi niya sa anak niya ampon niya yung bata kasi orphan na... he didnt tell the truth kasi natatakot siya na hindi siya tanggapin ng anak niya... tapos sabi niya sa ex-wife niya wag sabihin sa anak niya about him having a kid and a kabit... yung dad requested the mom not to tell the daughter about his kabit; the mom didnt tell her daughter kasi she was hoping he would have the courage to own up to his mistake... because she already owned up to her share and because of that nagalit sobra sa kanya yung anak niya, but her point is, at least she owned up to it, her daughter might be mad at her but she knows na she deserves it naman eh... hindi niya sinabi yung about the father kasi she was hoping he could own up to his mistakes rin.... well he didn't until dumating yung time na he had to... kaya naging super galit yung anak sa kanya for betraying her...

And how can I relate to this you might ask... parang sort of ang similar ng story eh... well most of my friends know anyway.... A couple of months back when things were about to unfold, wala tahimik lang naman ako... i didnt even know what was going on, I didn't know about the lies, I didnt know that the story turned 180 degrees and I was blamed for everything... tapos parang all of a sudden when things started turning up all that I said was to defend myself... wala hindi ko sinabi lahat lahat (well mahirap naman na ikwento ko ang lahat sa text diba kaya nakakapagod....) kasi well a part of me was still hoping he would own up to his mistakes, that he would be man enough or mature enough or man enough to own up to his mistakes to both parties, as in yung totoong story... well he didn't and he won't because he got away with it anyway... that's what forced me to write some things down... to somehow defend myself and make things fair... and write down the truth (even before I'm the type of person who would always try to be fair, my friends know that if i think there's something wrong I would tell them that they're wrong. If something's not fair I would really get worked up about it, that's me, it's hard to accept na life's not fair, i still can't. this incident I guess stressed that point even more....) well i learned na super hirap magpatawad on your own, but I was able to let go of it by thinking na I believe in a just and fair God and he always gives each one of us what is due to us... so there siya na bahala dun...

Anyway I'm veering away na ulit... enough about that... Basically it's about owning up... it's not easy, it takes humility, courage, repentance, a sense of responsibility ( to make things right for whatever damage you might have caused) to own up to a mistake, because making a mistake might mean hurting someone so much they might end up hating you... but part of repentance is admitting your mistake and making the change... you can't truly be sorry for something you won't admit.... kasi somehow your pride is still preventing you from humbling yourself and owning up to the repercussions of that mistake...

Market research stress

2008-06-20T07:11:00.000+08:00

I think I've been irritable the past couple of days kaya humahaba na ang sungay ko... hahaha... little things just tend to tick me off... maybe market research is starting to get to me... not that I have started on a lot... I really think market research gets to me a lot... proof: 177 days... haha it was soo much easier to do the individual papers compared to the group projects because the sample size used is much smaller.. it's easier to do strategy when you already have the insights of the consumers... not when you have to survey thousands if not millions of people and analyze the data yourself! but id rather endure that rather than cut corners... that's one thing i'm rigid about... being a person who lives on organized chaos, that's just one of the few disciplines i have in life (thanks to 177).... I don't like making strategies based on guesses... that's one thing that really really irritates me... as in super grrrrrrrrr talaga... kasi nasasayangan ako sa effort eh of making a strategy that can be super off pala kasi your insight was dead wrong to begin with... kaya as much as possible i try to be thorough with it... to know the reasons or stories behind certain things... that's why i want interviews and fgds so much more than surveys because it tells a story... that's one of the reasons why i want to study psych rin.... I sort of feel like it will help my craft to understand people better...

You could say that I have a love-hate relationship with market research... I don't really want to do it, but I will do it step by step because I know that I need it...

I love my perm!

2008-06-15T09:56:00.000+08:00

Got my perm done yesterday!!! hehe I now so love that i barely have to comb my hair... if you know me well you would know that a comb is the last thing you would find in my bag... hahaha and it's also tikwas free narin! hahaha... it's mura lang like P1,100 lang at my mom's hair dresser... there's something sort of comfort and assurance when someone calls you chi (as in short for achi) instead of your 1st name... and told me just before i left to tell my mom to call her in case i find my hair hard to manage... wala lang it just seems you know more personalized in like a small community way...

I just blog when I'm bored...

2008-06-10T14:18:00.000+08:00

Today's the 1st day of school na again for my siblings... I'm still envious kasi I still miss school... I miss being able to roll out of bed like an hour before class starts and just wear shorts and a t shirt or whatever I'm in the mood for... omg i soo miss shorts na... I don't know why but there's just somethign sluggish about wearing corporate attire... it's somehow restricting... Is that really the point of corporate attire? for it to be somehow restricting to remind you that you're in a more formal setting???

I miss walking to classes as well... you know being able to hang out with friends in between classes... being able to take long walks around the campus when you need some time for yourself... and most of all i miss how everything doesn't seem set out for you... having a wide range of activities that you can do, I guess the variety of things you can do are not very limited, it feels like you can do anything and everything... I loved having the freedom of using my own time... yuck 1 yr na akong graduate but I still miss school! it's my 2nd home na...

One thing that also fascinates me is how some of my hs and college friends have become friends in the work place... wala lang I just find that really amazing... kasi one thing that really amazes me about my friends is that kung titingnan mo kami it seems as though we have nothing in common... even I can't tell how our friendships were formed but it just works... thus I really find it more amazing that some of my hs and college friends have become friends as well...

Sorry I'm just terribly terribly bored today... I have nothing to do but blog and post pics today since naging tom na ang grilling session... hindi nanaman ako makakapaglakad-lakad... so wala rin akogn outlet ng stress so maybe this is also the stress talking...

obviously boredom is getting the best out of me...

2008-06-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are powerful, passionate, and dominant.
You have a vision of how things should be, and you do your best to make things happen.
People rely on you for your strength. You are a rock to many.

Underneath it all, you aren't so sure about your passions.
So many ideas spark your interest, it is hard for you to get behind a select few.
However, you see indecision as a sign of weakness. So you pursue your goals full force - no matter how foolish they turn out to be.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

Okay this is quite accurate naman I suppose

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations.

Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible.

Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

This can't be more dead wrong

Your Psyche is Green

You radiate love, empathy, and acceptance.
You are able to relax almost everyone you meet. You are naturally comforting.
Balanced and flexible, you only seem perfect!

When you are too green: you are jealous, manipulative, and deceptive

When you don't have enough green: you feel sluggish and out of sorts

What Color Is Your Psyche?

Very True

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Thinking

You are:

Organized and logical - a master at puzzles
Competitive in almost any arena of life
Objective when necessary, but passionate about what you truly love
Intolerant of excuses and incompetence

What's Your Personality Cluster?

uhm ewan ko... Ok fine I'm already getting tired of this...

Weekend adventures/ Shopping/ eating/shopping

2008-06-10T08:35:00.000+08:00

The bad thing about long weekends is getting back to work again... I actually didn't get any work done naman nung long weekend...

hmm Saturday I woke up late and just spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready for my uncle's wedding... and i just managed to squish into my sister's I-can-barely-breathe dress... the food was good naman and the reception itself actually finished quite early, around 10-10:30... that's really early for a wedding... oh yeah we also saw our pictures on the newspaper from the launch of the HP mini note...

Sunday... nothing much either... church then slept the whole afternoon tapos dinner at Portico at Serendra, nothing special here... then dessert at Chelsea... (for my review for Chelsea's death by chocolate "Famous Chocnut Vharlona Cake" go to this linkhttp://abbykikay.multiply.com/reviews/item/2/Chelsea )Oh after that I went shopping pala with my sister at TOPSHOP was able to but this top that my sister originally wanted but wala na siyang size.... bwahahahahaha kaya sa akin napunta yung top niya... but but but there was somethign I want more... I wanted this brown hobo like bag there... it was quite big and unstructured but I soooooooooooooooooo loved it because it was just a bag that i can totally totally rock!!!!!!!!!! but i also wanted another bag that maybe i can use as like an office bag at the same price... so what am I to do???????? okay I didn't buy the bag yet..... but I really really like the brown hobo bag!!!!!!!!! I want I want I want!!!!!! bags are totally my big obsession and my sister knows me all too well that when it comes to clothes, bags, accessories im super into details, you know the accents, linings, studs, the size, the texture and how the whole thing comes together... it's soo important to me... so when I see something I like it's hard to say na you'll find one just like it...

monday... woke up late, visited my ama in the hospital... then went to trinoma with my family to buy corpo attire... I don't know why but I really feel that when I'm buying clothes for work I really feel like it's sayang eh I wear corpo 4 times a week... but really I'm nanghihinayang when I buy corpo... kasi it's so expensive pa... like I super spent so much yesterday buying pants and tops... as in I feel it's super sayang talaga... oh and i went to ZARA yesterday tapos I tried out this black dress na on sale as in it's only like P1550 nalang tapos para siyang the perfect black dress kasi pwede rin siyang pang-corpo and I thought I was luck na kasi I found a Small! eh that's rare na kapag sale ng Zara and guess what ang ganda niya but it's maluwag sa likod! ugh!!!!!!!! it's awful when you find like a really nice thing tapos it's not your size! ugh! and here's another ugh moment ha... I went to TOPSHOP tapos they don't have the bag! the bag! my bag! the brown bag! oh no! as in the thought na mamaya wala na when I want to buy it just freaks me out! Thus I have to go to the nearest TOPSHOP today to find my bag!!!!! oh I also found these tops at PROMOD it's the store right beside Mango in trinoma, the price points are similar to Mango and Zara and meron rin siyang basic na collection and i got these tops na as in tank tops lang siya for P500 buacks lang and it's super buttery soft and it hugs you in all the right places... i swear it was my best buy for yesterday (well yung ibang binili ko kasi puro for corpo lang), I just bought 2 basic colors, 1 white and 1 in black... as in I swear it's definitely a good buy!

Anger and... forgiveness?

2008-06-07T12:26:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it still makes me wonder... can certain angers be carried over a lifetime? because sometimes it certainly feels that way...

I remember having dinner with one of my closest friends one time tapos tinanong ko siya if she sees herself being friends with this one person again(the answer is no, btw)... I asked because I wanted to find out if it has already been forgiven... because after the sadness has faded I still can't shake off the anger... It's still this seething anger that just seems to never have an end... it's still this anger that you never thought you would be able to feel towards someone... It just feels kind of odd kasi ako ang taong isang tulog lang normally nawawala na ang galit ko... it's the feeling na kapag naalala mo it never fails to anger you...

recently I had an entry about how each scar tells you a story... i still remember each one... all of them I have already forgiven, all but one... the deepest scar of all... I wonder if it would ever heal enough for it to be just like the other scars? Or would it remain the scar that fills you with seething anger?

Don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean that I'm not better... I guess I'm a whole lot better now kasi hindi na ako malungkot... it's just that hindi pa nawawala ang anger talaga... alam mo yung anger na you think you still can't forgive... mahirap pala ang magpatawad... sobrang hirap... mahirap rin to have anger towards someone but hindi mo rin naman magawa to forgive... well naniniwala rin kasi ako na dapat rin deserving rin yung pinapatawad mo... kaya siguro mahirap... any ideas which way out?

Up until now hindi ko parin alam kung bakit nangyari yung lahat though... except siguro for me to learn a lesson na forever kong matandaan, well i guess my friends who have been with me through this also learned a lot from my story... i learned to value my real friends... as in sobrang laki ng utang ko sa mga friends kong yan... thank you guys... *hugs*

Trip down memory lane... er the mall...

2008-06-06T11:05:00.000+08:00

As I am now desperate to lose weight, after lunch I walked for around an hour as I usually did when I was in ING... that is to keep the weight off and to destress as well... so I went around greenbelt lang.. ang init kasi eh... haha...

I wento greenbelt 1 tapos nadaanan ko yung Dulcinea dun... memory lane... I remember eating there after our yamaha recitals when we were still kids.. I don't know where we had our recitals but it must be somewhere here in makati for us to eat there at dulcinea... where we would always have the baked spag and churros con chocolate... hmm tempting... very very tempting but kailangan ko pang magtiis until tom afternoon... wah!!!!!!!!!!

And my sister is going to this blogger thing sa rockwell na may buffet na dessert courtesy of diamond hotel i think... wah!!!!! nakakainggit!!!!! the benefits of a blogger or having blogger friends... just thinking of all the desserts is enough to make me drool... super duper rich kasi ng desserts dun... which i absolutely love!!!! wah!!!! why are some people so blessed that they don't even have to diet?! why?! why?! why?! why is the world unfair?! why?! why?! why?! hahaha

I also passed by this store na "blade clippers" that was selling a lot of cute little trinkets! I wanted to buy this coin bank na frog tapos put it in my desk sa office and see how much i can save up during the year!

If I wasn't...

2008-06-05T13:00:00.000+08:00

Always looking at food blogs, it made me wonder if i wasn't working in the corporate world, would I be a home baker? well it's not highly unlikely... but I can only do desserts (because without even sinking your teeth into them, omg just the smell... it's amazing... that's one thing that you can't get from store bought desserts)... I haven't tackled cooking yet...

I really want to go to a baking class that specializes in cakes... but I don't want boring cakes though.. I also want to do pastry (just love love love love love filo...) I've also been dying to try working with fondant (timmy told me it's mahirap daw though... it's just one of the things that I just have to get over and done with)... I also want to tackle basic cooking techniques rin kahit mga pasta, stews, casseroles and pies lang mabubuhay na ako...

Remember my blog wherein one of my current employers told me it is a bad idea to turn your passion into your business because you won't compromise... well there is a niche market for those who turn their passion into a business afterall.. checkout http://dessertcomesfirst.com/?p=783 which is an article of "How to be one of Manila's best home bakers" it's not a mass market, but i guess in terms of fulfillment it's pretty much up there too...

Where do stories come from?

2008-06-01T14:11:00.000+08:00

"Because writers remember everything, Paul. Especially the hurts. Strip a writer to the buff, point to the scars, and he'll tell you the story of each small one. From the big ones, you get novels, not amnesia. A little talent is a nice thing to have if you want to be a writer, but the only real requirement is that ability to remember the story of every scar."

- From Stephen King's Misery

I'm not a very good writer, writing hasn't been one of my fortes even then... but I can say i can tell a story down to its every detail... I am not one to forget the story of each scar... if everyone could just as easily forgive and forget there wouldn't be scars... whenever i write in my blog it's my way of telling a story... it's my very own storybook... my friends can attest that when they read my blog they can almost imagine me making that kwento.... with all the side comments...

This blog is a testament to each scar that I have and how I threaded the waters on my way to recovery... It is a testament to the silver linings and triumphs after each tribulation as well... and how i carry all these scars with me up to this day and how it has made me who i am... It is a story of lessons learned... of friendships I have earned... it is a place where people can see me in every aspect, as real as I am...